Monday, November 3, 2008

11-21-07 (China)

I’m going to rent a bicycle. Cheers, mate. OH, luckily I don’t have a creeper roommate. His name is Alister. He’s from Scotland, and he’s running from credit card debt. I bought a lock./ So…I’m t the zoo. I know, I shouldn’t have come. They are so depressing, but interesting. Oh, before I forget, let me recount something. I walked into the lobby and instantly noticed a white man. Dressed in some weird “traditional” outfit, wearing shoes that were supposed to look traditional but weren’t. He has gray hair that has been dyed red. Instantly, I am annoyed. These type really bug me. Just freaking wear normal clothes. I’m watching him out of the corner of my eye. He walks over, asks a white girl about books, then out of nowhere, starts ranting on about lonely planet “clutching” (I think he said clutching) people, who “can’t seem to function” without them. I’m thinking to myself, “you’ve read Vagabonding”. I’m split you see. It’d be nice to know the language, but since Mandarin is freaking hard, get a guidebook which can show you some cheap places to live, which will save you loads of time to spend wandering around having fun. After listening to him spew his dogma, or Vagabonding’s dogma, (it’s a really good book by the way), I left. It was either his dyed red hair or him using the word “experience” a lot that made me lose interest. To me, him dying his hair red is like someone using a guidebook. It “taints” the experience./ I must be in the freaking twilight zone. I’m sitting in a stadium type thing looking down at this circular cage with a diameter of about 35-40 ft. In this cage is a donkey, a goat, 2 bigger dogs (lab, malamute, and 3 real small dogs like Drexton’s dog). This is seriously the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. Right now, one of the little dogs (a real yapper) is barking at the donkey, who is just trying to eat some vegetables. Wait, there are 4 small dogs. I’m really interested to see what happens. Earlier at the pit of monkey’s I seriously considered lowering them a rope. What chaos. I laughed out loud just thinking about the situation. Monkeys running everywhere. MAYHEM. The little yappy dog is trying to hump the bigger malamute dog. This place is f@*!ed up./ So. I came to sit in a park and you’ll never guess who’s here ranting about people who travel with too much. He was actually antagonizing a guy who had two bags. Not like him who carries only one shirt, two socks, etc… He’s talking to this kid about lonely planet people and how much he hates them. Blah blah blah. It bugs me, yet it’s slightly entertaining. I think he walks around and grabs people and let’s them know who he is and how he travels. Anyway, I’ve scoped out a few places I want to shoot at tonight. We’ll see what happens. So, I’ve decided their are 5 types to travelers. #1 – tourists – this person stays in nice hotels, gets driven around, spends a week and says they’ve visited the place. #2 – the backpacker – this person reads guidebooks to get around easier to make more time for other things, yet doesn’t stick to a specific route, and has a good time. #3 – The “backpacker” – this person does only what the guidebooks tell them to do, lives and breaths the guidebooks, but generally he/she has a good time. #4 – the real backpacker – this person uses no guidebook, has a great time, and is very carefree. Occasionally he stays at a place which is not very good and he gets raped, but all-in-all, life’s good. This last one is the most annoying of all travelers, even more so than the tourist. #5 – the “real” backpacker. This person has read Vagabonding and follows it to a “t”. They prance around in “traditional” clothes trying to be like the people but doesn’t realize the people haven’t worn that stuff for a couple hundred years, and makes all westerners look bad. They don’t have any fun because they’re too busy preaching their plagiarized dogma to other backpackers, “backpackers”, real backpackers, and “real” backpackers. They insist that everyone who uses guidebook is an idiot. Strange enough, theses people tend to end up where guidebook users do. That’s it. I might have to email the author of vagabonding and let him know what he started. Also, I’ll think of some more clever names later. I might go take a nap./ I’m waiting for the light to be better, chatting with really nice people. Oh…(Random Thought) [Current girlfriend] informed [me that] diarrhoea is spelled diarrhea. I personally think it could be spelled two ways like wiener and weiner. Both spellings are correct. I looked them up (End Random Thought). Wow, I just farted. That’s a real risky maneuver considering I have the runs. What a bold move. Right now, I’m down at a center square like place and there are a bunch of people doing traditional dances. I kind of want to join but I won’t because #1 – I’m chicken and #2 – it might offend people. I changed my mind about China. I really like this place. I just don’t like Guangzhou. Like is an overstatement. I HATE IT. Anyway, I’ll probably just chill here until I go to bed. I’ll fill you in on what happens if anything interesting goes down./

video

5 comments:

CurtisandMindy said...

fyi-reading this...it seems like you are completely high. or very very afflicted w/ ADD. I think I'd probably be the one that sticks to the guidebook (if I was by myself)...but would be more apt to go off the beaten path if I was with someone who knew the area better.

Matthew said...

fyi, the / in the entries indicate a separation of time. maybe a couple hours or so.

CurtisandMindy said...

fyi-there were only TWO.

Matthew said...

i count 3. 4 if you count the one on the end.

Matthew said...

i count 3. 4 if you count the one on the end.