Friday, August 14, 2009

Something clever, this way comes.

Here are a couple things i appreciate. And by a couple, i mean 3.
#1 - irony, especially when it benefits me (such as for entertainment, or in the monetary cents [pun]). For instance, if i see something ironic, i would probably find it entertaining. This is probably straight forward as to why it's beneficial for me. I guess i could get into how laughing (inside or out), makes you healthier, but i won't. On a similar note, I will be discussing a theory i've come up with called "The Funny Theory". Basically, it's more of a guideline as to how you should deside if something is funny. Anyway, i appreicate irony in the monetary cents because i would gain money. This one is also straight forward, as gaining money, in general, is a good thing. Confused yet? so am i.
#2 - my ability to not care that i'm very white. I was standing next to my brother yesterday. We were both mostly naked and it occurred to me that he was not only more muscular than me, but also much more tan. I cried a little inside knowing that i could never beat him in an indian leg wrestling competition, but i was also glad that i wasn't tan. I feel like ivory skin might be making a come back and i'm excited to lead the way. PS, red heads with ivory skin don't count. For them, it's not so much a choice as it is a condition.
#3 - not capitalizing the single letter "i", except when it starts a sentence. I think it just looks better and i also just added this last part so i could write a few more singular i's.

Anyway, those are 3 things that i appreciate, now to my theory of funny. It goes something like this. If i see something that i would laugh at if it happened to my arch nemesis (kevin), then it's funny, even if it happens to me. I still have to laugh at it, because i would have laughed at it, had it happened to my nemisis. For instance. My arch nemsis falls into a sewer, and i laugh. If i fall into a sewer, i can't be mad because i would have laughed had it been my nemesis. Here's another one. My arch nemesis has his identity stolen. I don't laugh. Therefore if i get my identity stolen, it's not funny. I'm currently in the process of writing a paper on the funny theory and would like to get feedback. Thanks.


MindySue said...

So, your idea of a couple is THREE? hmmm. that's interesting.

i applaud your integrity at adhering to your Funny Theory...sort of equal opportunity humor. I like it.

I too do not always capitalize the letter i . i'm not sure why that is. sometimes I do and sometimes i don't

i care that i'm white. mostly because being tan makes you look thinner. of course, cancer makes you look thinner too, so it's a thin line.

MindySue said...

also, in your funny theory do you make exceptions for gender or age?

For example (in age) you falling down might not be so funny if, say, it happened to Grandma.

Or, things that could happen to girl might not be as funny if they happened to you...and vice versa. I was just wondering if you'd thought about possible exceptions to your funny theory.

Matthew said...

I don't say what's funny to other people, i just apply my funny theory to myself, but in general, the rules apply to everyone. Some exceptions might be if, through some sort of abomination, mike became pregnant, i would have a hard time applying that to myself. Likewise, you would have a hard time applying ED (Erectile Dysfunction) to yourself. There are exceptions to every rule. Just use common sense.

merk said...

back in august 2008 i just barley arrived in moscow. school hadn't quite started and i was riding to and fro downtown getting school supplies (probably climbing supplies actually but thats not the point) while riding back i was clearly in the bike lane when a car pulled right in front of me. At the time i was going fast.. really fast, didn't have time to touch my breaks, and slammed into his car. I distinctly remember flipping over the car and through the air all the while thinking of the slight humor in the situation that this was actually happening to me. i hit the ground, rolled, and laughed.. and then laid there for a while because i just got hit by (but technically i hit) a car. bottom line, besides a few cuts and brusies.. and being sore for a week, i came out on top with an extra $1500 in my pocket AND had a story in which i found funny. win. oh, and the security word i have to type in to post this is 'vasli'. funny? maybe. i thought so. also, in line with what you wrote, i may be more muscular than you matt, but i think you get far more babes than i do. congratulations? yes.