Thursday, November 19, 2009

Shall i face my enemy head on or sit side-by-side?

When i say enemy, i don't actually mean enemy, i mean girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse/etc... And when i say sit side-by-side i don't actually mean sitting side-by-side. . . . . . . wait, no, i do mean that. Anyway,

I was eating ty food (i know it's spelled tie) tonight and i noticed something. It's quite bothersome and I'm not sure if it's part of the culture down here in the big city, or if it's nationwide.

When two people eat at a restaurant, are you supposed to face the person you're talking to, or do you sit side by side and not look at each other? Personally, I think there are circumstances for both. For the side-by-side sitting, i feel that it should be reserved for very very old people. I'm talking on the verge of non-life. That's it. Those are the only people that should be allowed to sit side-by-side eating a meal.

In every other circumstance, you should "face your danger". Not only is it convenient when/if you talk to the other person, but you also avoid other annoyances like bumping elbows, or accidently stabbing your date in the ribs with the salad fork. Even if your date is going bad, it's still generally frowned upon. One of the biggest benefits of sitting across from each other is that you're not sharing a bench seat. That means you can pass gas and blame it on other people around you because technically, she doesn't know for sure that you did it. If you were sharing a bench seat than she probably would have felt it and you would have been caught red handed.

I don't know if my readers can tell, but i've been going on tons and tons of dates lately. I'm getting quite adept at placing blame where i want. I also don't know if my readers can tell, but I'm full of baloney 37% of the time, which may or may not be a low ball estimate.

Regardless of others' opinion, i believe that just like any other circumstance in the wild, you should always face your danger. Just like you would if you were approached by a bear, shark, mountain lion, or creepy dude with a mustache, because the minute you turn your back, you're going to get eaten. fact.


4 comments:

MindySue said...

You DO know it's spelled "thai" right?! I'm sure you do. I think.

I used to like sitting side by side when I wanted to be all cuddly with my date....but not that I'm an old married lady I want the freakin' elbow room.

MindySue said...

NOW (not NOT)

Bloomability said...

i completely agree. i'm annoyed when people do that, and i see that in my restaurant all the time...in fact, i think this would be a good topic for my next restaurant blog post. thanks matt

Matthew said...

Mindy, please. You DO remember that i spend quite some time in Thailand, and that i'm not dumb. The reason i put ty is sometimes its fun to play with homophones and think about the literal meaning of what you wrote such as "i'm going to strangle you with my bear hands", "my currant affairs class is really boring", "watch your fowl mouth", etc.....

Rach, i'm flattered that you'd steal my ideas. Good luck.