They look like little aliens with weird cone shaped heads. They're covered in vernix and lenugo (see below for definitions) which doesn't help their case, and they come out screaming and crying. Granted, i'd do the same if i was stuck in a womb for 9 months, but still. You just gained your freedom. What are you crying about?. I understand that some mothers are thinking "matt, you've gone too far by disrespecting my child". Well, i only speak the truth, and that truth is that you mothers are probably jaded by your motherly love (which is generally a good thing). You look at your child and see this beautiful baby that you brought into the world, while everyone else is who is looking at your child sees a small alien that you've been harboring for the last 9 months and just jettisoned from your body.
Let me clarify. Babies are cute. New born babies are ugly. Am i the only one that thinks this? Probably. Does my opinion matter? No (it does, but for arguments sake, i'm going with no).
Descriptions courtesy of parentingweekly.com
Vernix: "When your precious 'baby' is born, don't be surprised to see him or her covered in what looks like a white, waxy cheese. This creamy stuff is called vernix caseosa, Latin for 'varnish' and 'cheese,' and acts like a waterproof barrier on your baby's skin, protecting it from the drying effects of months of submersion in amniotic fluid. In addition, scientists now believe that it may also have antibacterial and cleansing properties"
Lenugo: "A fine, downy layer of hair that covers your baby's body while he or she is in the womb. It helps to hold the vernix in place to ensure your baby's delicate skin doesn't become chapped by the long immersion in amniotic fluid. It first appears at about five months and for the most part falls off just before birth; however, many babies still have some lanugo at birth."
That's quite the trade off. Yes, it might be antibacterial, but it makes you look like you're covered in varnish and wax and is described as a 'waxy cheese'. If i were a baby. I'd opt out. It only hurts their case. And don't get me started about being covered in albino hair. ug. all i know is that if i was covered in albino hair, i wouldn't have near as many friends as i do, which is already sparse, so i'd be in big trouble. Anyway. Just something that was on my mind.