New Years Resolutions I Will Most Likely Not Do:
1 - Be on the moon. Since this is obviously a big one, i'm going to say that i'll do this towards the end of the year in hopes that you'll forget that i vowed to do it.
2 - Have a child out of wedlock. I'm actually going to call irony on this one, not that i'm having a kid but the fact that if it happened (i don't see why it would), it would be very ironic that i wrote this as a fake resolution. . . . . . I'm thinking about deleting this fake resolution, but probably won't. I didn't.
3 - Learn how to use mind control against my foes/coworkers. This is pretty obvious why it'd be nice.
4 - Learn how to ride a monocycle. ug. they're so dumb.
5 - Wake up in a foreign country not knowing how i got there.
6 - capitalize words that i should capitalize.
7 - Throw up violently 27 times.
8 - Become a turtle.
These are all things that i plan on most likely not doing.