Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Years Resolutions?

This year, i resolve to be a better person. I also resolve to blllllllaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. I hate new years resolutions. Why can't you just do it on your own. While we're at it, let's be honest. You're probably not going to do it anyway. Just skip the middle man and label them New Years Resolutions I Will Most Likely Not Do.

New Years Resolutions I Will Most Likely Not Do:

1 - Be on the moon. Since this is obviously a big one, i'm going to say that i'll do this towards the end of the year in hopes that you'll forget that i vowed to do it.
2 - Have a child out of wedlock. I'm actually going to call irony on this one, not that i'm having a kid but the fact that if it happened (i don't see why it would), it would be very ironic that i wrote this as a fake resolution. . . . . . I'm thinking about deleting this fake resolution, but probably won't. I didn't.
3 - Learn how to use mind control against my foes/coworkers. This is pretty obvious why it'd be nice.
4 - Learn how to ride a monocycle. ug. they're so dumb.
5 - Wake up in a foreign country not knowing how i got there.
6 - capitalize words that i should capitalize.
7 - Throw up violently 27 times.
8 - Become a turtle.

These are all things that i plan on most likely not doing.

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