Sunday, June 27, 2010

Getting Paid to Throw Up Alphabet Soup.

So. . . . It's been a while. This isn't so much my fault, as it is everyone else's fault. Ha. Just kidding. I've been out working and haven't been able to write anything. I know everyone is terribly disappointed. While i was out working, however, i picked up the good old USA Today and was perusing through it. Usually, i just look at the front page, then i throw the "Money" and "Sports" sections away so i can read all the latest celebrity gossip. Usually. Today was different. Not today, i guess, but maybe that day. I was reading an article about a flood in Arkansas, when i came across this.

"What happened in the dead of night here Friday morning, however, was anything but normal."

Don't get me wrong, i figure that it technically is a correct sentence, maybe, but if you're writing in a newspaper that gets international coverage or even a newspaper that you write for yourself, why not try and write in a manner that doesn't make you sound like some vague philosophy teacher. "What happened in the snowy mountains here on the savannah, however, was anything but intelligent."

Thanks USA Today, i'm now 100% sure that i could do your job better than you. Not that i would want to, but in the event that i was put in that position, i would feel comfortable that i could eat alphabet soup, throw it back up on the table and still come up with an article that made more sense than the garbage in there now. And for those of you who are picking up grammatical mistakes in my blog or think it's too confusing and have the inkling to bring it to my attention, remember that: a) i don't get paid to do this. b) i did them on purpose to prove a point. c) you have too much time on you're hands. d) go suck eggs. And last but not least, e) even after reading that paper, vomiting in my mouth, and getting salt in my eye, i'd still rather read it than listen to what the monkeys typed up on fox news. I guess i singled out fox news because they are the creme de la creme of bad news, but most other news is bad as well. Just an fyi.

1 comment:

J-Hal said...

Doesn't it seem that "news" is now just the entertainment business? I just wish that newscasters/radio commentators wouldn't qualify themselves as journalists or news people. They are entertainers.