It's weird that i'm 26 and i'm still single. Yes, i have a couple kids, but frankly, i've never met them, so i keep them in the back of my conscious. I guess it's not weird that i'm 26 and single. I've started to look at the data and i fully realize why i'm 26 and why i'm still single. I'm 26 because my good mother gave birth to be a little over 26 years ago, and i'm single because apparently i'm an "a$$hole" (sorry mom, i'm just quoting someone. Well, actually, i'm not really quoting them, because i put the money sign instead of the s, but i feel like anyone with half a brain will be able to put the word together. . . . . . .It's basically a quote. . . . . . . . . . . Anyway.)
I was perusing through some old emails that i wrote and i stumbled upon this little nugget of gold. It's an excerpt from me, to a former girlfriend who was in a different part of the world at the time. You can make guesses as to who it is, but i'll never tell. . . . . . . Crystallynn. Crap. I can't keep secrets. Anyway. She's doing well now, happily married, so i don't feel bad. Besides, if anything, she should receive an award for putting up with my idiocy for however long she put up with it. Anyway, here's the excerpt.
"I think of you as my girlfriend, but we're just on a break until you get back. I don't know why it's easier, but it just is. Maybe it's easier because i feel i don't have to write you all the time and what not. That sounded bad, but i'm going to leave it. You're probably thinking that it shouldn't be a hassle to call you and talk to you, and i should want to call and write you, but it kind of is."
Stunned silence. . . Ug. It's funny looking back on it, until i realized that i probably am fully capable of writing almost the exact same thing right now.
This isn't the only time that i've done something like this. I then went on to end a conversation with her because i was in the middle of watching alien vs. predator: requiem. She was calling me from india, and i got off the phone because i didn't want to miss out on what turned out to be the 3rd worst movie of all time.
In another situation, i "broke up" with a different girl (i put it in quotes because we weren't dating, so i don't know what the big deal was) and asked her for my beaver brand honey mustard back (she had it in a cooler because we went climbing and i purchased all the food for the trip). To be fair, it was beaver brand honey mustard, which is really good, plus i told her she could have the orange juice that i left in the cooler. I just wanted the mustard back. It's good mustard. ug. ug. ug.
This all stems from the other day when i was told that i make girls sick to their stomach and not in a good way. I was also told that i'm a very hard person to understand, which isn't so bad. Mysterious is cool, but it was followed with "i've been going on dates with other guys and they're really easy to get along with. We (the other guys) just have fun." I don't know when this transformation occurred or if it was a transformation at all. Maybe i've always been like this. I guess i've never been fully aware of what i say or how i appear to other people, which is probably part of the reason i have a mustache right now which is probably part of the reason why i'm single. Correlation doesn't equal causation.
Anyway, will this post ensure me being single for a lot longer? Maybe, but i'd say that job is taken by my tactless open personality. I guess honesty isn't valued like is used to be, which is too bad because the world could use a few more open and honest people.