Friday, October 15, 2010

The Double Snuggie: ......[blank stare]......What, Fresh Hell, Is This?

To avoid anyone else outing me, i will admit that i have in my possession, a snuggie, but not by choice. It was a gift from my idiot brothers and i plan on re-gifting it this christmas, so if you get it from me, it probably means i don't really like you all that much. Sorry, but you should have been a better friend.
*End of Disclaimer*

Anyway, it appears that the morons (i'm really just jealous) that created the snuggie have invented a new abomination. The snuggie for two. Click here to make the jump to it's home page, but so help me if you buy one, i'm going to climb through my computer and strangle you. it's strictly so you can see what kind of terrible ideas make money. ug.

Some of you are probably thinking that you might want me to just post a picture of it, but a) you're an idiot, and b) i'm not posting a picture of that on my blog. I already posted one in an earlier post and it gave my computer some sort of computerized venereal disease. Yeah, gross. That's what i thought.

Anyway, as i was researching for this blog post, i sat at my computer staring at the photo of the double snuggie thinking to myself, wondering why on earth people would purchase these stupid things. I came to a conclusion and I'm convinced that people buy these things for other, more useful, uses. Such as:

1. Wrapping up corpses - Everyone knows that 8/10 serial cereal killers prefer the snuggie over a blanket. Fact.
2. Practical jokes - It's all fun and games to give someone a snuggie as a gag gift, until they mail it back to you along with a letter full of anthrax. Go suck eggs, mike and mark, big ones.
3. A round about way of telling someone you don't like them - Like i said above, generally if you get a snuggie as a gift, you are not well liked by the sender. As the sendee, i'd see #2 for ideas on what you could do to retaliate, and #1 for ideas on how to clean up the retaliation.
4. Impromptu mop - It seems that they would soak up a lot of liquid, so if you accidently tip over your drum of oil you keep in your kitchen, use them to soak up the mess. SIDE NOTE: Maybe BP could have bought all the snuggies and used them to soak up their mess, then burned them. You know, kill two cats with one stone. Nice.
5. Promptu Mop - If you own a cleaning business, you could give all your "legal employees" snuggies to use as mops, this wouldn't save time though, and i'd imagine most of your "legal employees" would quit.
6. Ear muffs - They're kind of oversized, but if you had two, you could tape them to your head and they would probably work pretty effectively as sound barriers.
7. Shelter the homeless - In theory, this is really nice, but i've seen homeless people turn down snuggies, so i'm going to go out on a limb and say that this idea is only theoretical, sort of like evolution.

Anyway, In all reality (especially mine), the true use of the snuggie is to let everyone know that the snuggie owner is an idiot.


Scott Hall said...

Am I the only person in the world that realizes a snuggie is just a bathrobe on backwards. . . seriously. Just wear your robe backwards. . . snuggie. done.

Alyse Bitty Hair said...

That third arm hole is genius...

Snuggie said...

Agree with the Alyse Bitty Hair also i have share info for you see now..
Thanks for post..