Monday, November 29, 2010

Baby Beauty Pageants: Destroying America, One Baby at a Time

*Disclaimer*
Parents of babies participating in baby beauty pageants: You are terrible people exploiting your children and you should be ashamed. Despite what you think, dressing your child up like a prostitute does not increase their self esteem. Especially if they're too young to realize what's going on. This post is for you.
*End of Disclaimer*

Baby beauty pageant parents. What would possess you to make your child do something like this? I mean, i understand that you probably participated in pageants in your younger years and you sucked at it so you somehow feel like this might be your "second chance" that you've been waiting for your entire life, but it's not a "second chance". You don't have any more "chances" and you're ruining your child's only "chance" at a normal life.

Listen, this will not validate your existence anymore than watching the movie Independence Day validates the existence of aliens. I strongly urge you to take some time to reflect on the crappiness you are inflicting on your child.

For the purpose of this next section, i'd like the reader to pull up this website.


If you have been to this website before, you are a terrible person. If you run this website, you are on par with people like hitler and glenn beck.

Ok, here are several things that are severely wrong with this website.

1. The website
2. The tiaras sitting atop the girls on the home page are easily the ugliest things i've seen since i was doing research for my nickelback blog post (Chad Kroeger, you are an ugly man). Anyway, one of them is way too big. Cartoon big. That's right. Cartoon big. Look it up. It's in the dictionary. It's an adjective (is it?) that means ridiculously big. (ie. That girl's tiara is cartoon big, just like her hair). That was an unfair example because it looks like she actually has really nice hair.
3. The name of the website. Universal royalty? Come on. that's really tacky. As tacky as this wedding photography website.
4. They have a photo retouching link which made me throw up, but i already kind of wrote about that, so i won't elaborate.

I could easily fill your day with more negativity, but i won't. I need to get out of bed. It's 11:11 and i feel like i'm just wasting my day.

I'd like end with maybe a thought or two on "inner beauty" but that would kind of be going in the opposite direction of the blog, so i'll end with. . . .

Eff you baby beauty pageant parents. Eff. You.

3 comments:

MindySue said...

I completely agree. What better way to teach your child that their only value lies in the outward appearance than to teach them that they can use their looks to win money and that if they don't look perfect they don't win.

Parents who do this to their kids are seriously seriously disturbed. Kids who think this is fun, don't know the meaning of the word.

Devery said...

Have you seen Drop Dead Gorgeous? Hands down the best pageant movie ever.

Bloomability said...

I've been waiting for you to write about this. I'm glad you did. I HATE those beauty pageants. I watched one on TLC once, and I may have thrown up/I wanted to punch every single parent in the face. I'd do it too!
Anyway, thanks for this post.
Also, Chad Kroeger...gross and what a sad photo website. That poor person.