Monday, November 8, 2010

Married People: So Mature = Faux Maturity

*Disclaimer*
If you are recently married (i'd say within the last 15 years) and you're what i'd call a "friend", be prepared to defriend me on facebook. This might hurt.
*End of Disclaimer

Dear Married People,
Let me first say/admit that i am immature. I'll admit it. I don't pretend to be mature. I know i'm not.

That being said, NEITHER ARE YOU.

At least you're not as mature as you think you are. It's weird. Right before you were married, you were just as "immature" as everyone else. You made inappropriate jokes. You were reckless. You did other immature things. But once you said "i do", you became wrapped in a shroud of maturity that frankly other people find disgusting/annoying.

We (single people) know that you look down on us. That you think you're better than us. That you ride your tall horse around thinking that all single people must be unhappier than you and that they all must be jealous of you.

The truth is, we are. We all wish that we were so delusional that we could also wrap ourselves in a shroud of maturity. It would be great. I mean, ignorance really is bliss.

Unfortunately, we can't wrap ourselves in that ridiculous shroud and instead, we're forced to put up with you. We put up with you at church functions. We put up with you in public. We put up with you at work. We don't however put up with you when we travel because usually you're not there. Anyway.

Married people. Eff. You.

Love
matt

ps - Drexton, i wouldn't put you in that category.

3 comments:

Courtney said...

Pheww, glad we got that out in the open! I totally think I'm better than you - uh, I mean, more mature than you.

Crap, who am I kidding, everyone knows I'm even more immature now than before I got married. That's why I married Brent, who actually does think he is better/more mature than everyone else ;)

Matthew said...

HA!!!!! It's true. I guess this was just a blanket statement and obviously there are people that don't fit and there are people that don't. Brent obviously thought the was better than everyone way before he got married. ha!

Austin said...

I hope I'm not on this category. I can't really look down at you, we're almost the same height. Let me know one way or the other. Good day! Ps. Where are you? It snowed here most of yesterday. If you have the ability to somehow will the snow to fall, will you make it snow every three days or less? I would really appreciate it (only if the snow is here though. If it snows somewhere else and you try to take credit for it I will not appreciate it, just to clarify.). Good day!