If you are recently married (i'd say within the last 15 years) and you're what i'd call a "friend", be prepared to defriend me on facebook. This might hurt.
*End of Disclaimer
Dear Married People,
Let me first say/admit that i am immature. I'll admit it. I don't pretend to be mature. I know i'm not.
That being said, NEITHER ARE YOU.
At least you're not as mature as you think you are. It's weird. Right before you were married, you were just as "immature" as everyone else. You made inappropriate jokes. You were reckless. You did other immature things. But once you said "i do", you became wrapped in a shroud of maturity that frankly other people find disgusting/annoying.
We (single people) know that you look down on us. That you think you're better than us. That you ride your tall horse around thinking that all single people must be unhappier than you and that they all must be jealous of you.
The truth is, we are. We all wish that we were so delusional that we could also wrap ourselves in a shroud of maturity. It would be great. I mean, ignorance really is bliss.
Unfortunately, we can't wrap ourselves in that ridiculous shroud and instead, we're forced to put up with you. We put up with you at church functions. We put up with you in public. We put up with you at work. We don't however put up with you when we travel because usually you're not there. Anyway.
Married people. Eff. You.
ps - Drexton, i wouldn't put you in that category.