Friday, November 5, 2010

Sunchips: Beating a Dead Horse is More Fun Than You Would Think

*Disclaimer*
I have never, nor will i ever, beat a dead horse. Not to say i don't think about it sometimes. And i might poke one with a stick or kind of nudge it to see if it's alive (you know, every time i see a horse laying down, i think it's dead), but i'm 97% sure i wouldn't beat a dead horse. Live horses, are a different story.
*End of Disclaimer*

*Another Disclaimer*
Oh relax, i was kidding. . . . . maybe.
*End of Disclaimer*

Anyway, sunchips. The bane of my existence. Sorry. For those of you who are new to this. I hate sunchips. Not so much the chip itself, but the noisy bag they were coming in. You know. . . . that one. The one that sounds similar to low flying aircraft circling your conversation, or i guess what was left of your conversation. They're really really loud. Or at least they were loud. I had written sunchips letters, sending them elaborate formulas on the cost to convenience ratio of loudness vs. environmentally friendliness proving that a) they were in fact louder than space shuttles, therefore were doing more damage than the non compostable bags. And b) the environment actually didn't care in the least whether or not you could compost them because a) the environment knows that people don't compost them and b) even the environment was bugged by how loud they were.

I love lists.

Anyway, long story longer, my blog is 93% responsible for frito lays changing back to the normal bags (it's not). Not only that, but a sunchips representative personally came to my house and was a human ottoman for 3 days (he didn't). Victory is mine. . . . or so i thought.

One problem. Canaduh. That's right. That's how it should be spelled. Just like america should be spelled ameericuh. Anyway, i'm going to add one more thing onto my list of why i think canada should fall into the ocean. Reason #73 - canada is an exception to the noisy bag. Just like they're an exception to freedom. Ug. Let me explain. Canada is not getting rid of the noisy bag. Instead they choose to save the environment.

Wow, that's dumb. I mean, if china did it, i could see it making a difference, but canada has what, 1 million people? Half of which live in igloos and don't even know what chips are. I'm sure some disgusting pretentious canadian hipster had something to do with this. Or not. I don't know. All i know is i now have one more reason to not come back to canada. Thanks a lot.

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