Friday, November 19, 2010

TSA: The Sexuality Agency

With all the hullaballoo (spelling?) about the new/old x-ray scanners at the airports, i decided it'd be perfect timing to throw in my 10 cents and see if i can flex my blog a little bit. You know, see if i can force some change. It worked with sunchips, so i figured it could work for the body scanners. We'll see.

So, if you're not up to speed on the whole debacle, i'll fill you in with some nearfacts.

Issue: TSA's new policy at airports is to feel everybody's genitals. . . . twice. Apparently this is to prevent terrorists, but personally, i feel it's because people at TSA appreciate genitals. But hey, who doesn't, right? If they're not feeling people up, they're posting naked pictures of passengers on the internet. What's the problem with that? I'll tell you what the problem is. They're not very flattering.

I mean, i could see people being cool with some tasteful nudes, but what they're posting is far from tasteful. It's this metallic[a] blue, wrinkly, skin squishy blob thing that. . . . what's that? Oh. . . . . apparently the people are gross, not the images themselves, which is actually a convenient segue [sounds like segway] into my next topic. . . .

This is where i would normally write a little bit about obesity, but i've had some complaints about my posts being too long and people skipping stuff, and that my friends, is a stupid thing to do. So to all you that skip my material. Eff. You.


MindySue said...

So, do you get your term "effing" from the 7th Harry Potter book?

I'm curious what they do with pregnant women who obviously can't go through the scanners. I don't want to be groped by someone who is patting me down. It seems excessive to touch genitals. They might as well probe me while they're at it if they're going to be that thorough.

Matthew said...

No, i get the term effing from the f word. Oh gosh, i was so tempted to write the actual f word right there, but i think mom would be disappointed in me. It would have been funny.

It seems excessive to touch genitals, unless you have a bomb taped to your (not so much yours, but maybe guy's) wiener, then it becomes necessary.