Monday, December 20, 2010

Bridal Plasty: I Stand Corrected

Ok, so miley cyrus is not the Great Decay of Modern Society. Not even close. She now kind of reminds me of a nun. A really skanky nun. Anyway, my cousin Alyssa, who probably loves this show, pointed me in the direction of bridal plasty, which it turns out, has been officially deemed the anti-christ. Yeah, weird. i know. I always secretly thought it was Obama, not a collective of terrible women. It's actually more frightening than anything i could have ever imagined, and by now, you can kind of grasp the scope of that statement. Terrifying. I know.

So, Here is a list and link to the best material. Cheyenne's "wish list" (wish list? are you effing kidding me?!? It's called a wish list?) is:
nose job
liposuction of outer thighs
liposuction of inner thighs
gums reduced
shorten second toe (what the french?)
remove scar on nose
redo veneers
inner knee liposuction (once again, what the french?)
remove suspicious looking mole

The only legitimate one that isn't weird is the "remove suspicious looking mole", and they put that one last. Almost as an afterthought. "i want this and this and this and this and this. . . . . oh, and if you get time, could you remove a suspicious looking mole. It might be cancer. . . . but if you don't have time, don't worry about it. I'd rather get my second toe shortened, because that is much more crucial than a SUSPICIOUS LOOKING MOLE".

Janessa, who has a smaller, less ridiculous (but still ridiculous) list "gave her fiancé a timeline and an ultimatum for the wedding proposal." Yeah, i'll pass.

Kristen, "daughter of a former miss california and who competed in pageants herself" has a laundry list of things, including one "liposuction of the flanks". She's 21, and attractive (on the outside), and she wants "liposuction of the flanks". I don't even know what that is. It kind of makes me hungry for some steak. I guess this is what you get from having a mother who is obsessed with beauty pageants.

There are tons more, but i'm just going to list one last procedure because it's really confusing. Skin resurfacing. i don't know what that is. It sounds like it will require some heavy machinery and an operator sitting under a CAT umbrella, but probably not. Maybe.

Anyway, truthfully, i feel bad for these women. I don't know why they would think that they need these things. Maybe it's their future husbands pressuring them. Maybe it's the way they were razed. Maybe they just want to be on tv and they missed their opportunity to get pregnant at 16. Who knows. Whatever the reasons are, it doesn't matter. This is what is wrong with the world. This and a couple other things.

ps - i'm sure Alyssa doesn't watch this show. Maybe in a terrifying watching a train wreck sort of way.

- "You're just as pretty as all the other girls, you just need a nose job" - Cramer

8 comments:

MindySue said...

I'm reading a book along these lines right now...called "So Sexy So Soon" and it's all about how we set our children up from a very young age to value only their outward appearance and to think that they have to be perfectly sexy in order to attract a man. It's also about how to counteract the affects of a world that focuses only on physical beauty and "sexiness".

Anyway...you are right. This has to be one of the signs of the apocolypse.

Lyssa said...

Thank you for addressing this issue. I was also wondering what would happen if they got all this plastic surgery done and their fiances thought they were better before. "I liked your flanks." Too bad.

Bloomability said...

matt! I was watching this stupid show last night. I was getting so annoyed and mad that i may have cussed a few times. I couldn't change the channel though.
I almost texted you last night to tell you about this show and to tell you to write a blog about it. You obviously read my mind. thank you. ugh. stupid tv

Cindy Lou said...

It makes me sad that these women can't appreciate what God gave them.

Hayley Jo Reese said...

"..maybe they missed their opportunity to get pregnant at sixteen." My favorite haha. There is a show that's going to be on TLC on Dec. 29 about weird addictions like eating toilet paper and sleeping with your blow dryer. I really think you should watch it!!

Bridget Harris said...

Thank you for posting this, whoever you are. I just saw the show for the first time and instantly grabbed my laptop to check that there are still others in the world who are mortified by this type of behavior/set of morals. I'm not sure if these women or their fiancées are scarier... what happened to loving someone for who they are? Wowww. I am also shocked at how the future brides treat their mother-in-laws...

This show makes me want to move to a different country.

meandmythinkingcap said...

I was wondering what is wrong with all these people? I hate reality shows - no script, no creativity no need to use imagination - this one is pretty lame...pretty lame...
Bridalplasty -Way far from reality

Sana depth said...

The most popular bridalplasty procedures to appear on brides is nose job. Through this woman can change their nose shape and look better.

nose job