Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Hagermanns Bakery: A Bunch of Thieves. Not Bread Thieves. Money Thieves.

This post stems from an incident I had the other day when some friends and i went to a bakery. Hagermanns bakery. It's downtown near temple square. It's awesome because when you walk in, you think it's a nice honest place, and the guys look all hipster (first reason not to trust them. Don't trust hipsters), with their beards and what not, and you're thinking, "great, i'm going to enjoy a nice hot chocolate at a reasonable price." Wrong. . . . . . Well, i guess the price isn't unreasonable, but i'll get to that in a second. I also want to point out that their website also looks honest. Whatever that means.

Anyway, so we order some hot chocolate. I order a "full" for $2.89 (because i love hot chocolate), two others (a brother sister combo) share a "full", and one other guy, let's call him Brent McNaught, ordered a "reg" for $2.39. I'm pretty sure he ordered a "reg" because he hates Christmas, but that's just me.

After chit chatting, for a while, i became so bored with everyone there that i started staring at the cups. Don't worry, i didn't make it obvious, but eventually i noticed some discrepancies in the cups. I know what you're thinking. matt. duuuuuuuuh. there were two different sizes. Of course there will be discrepancies, and you would be correct to think that, but let explain further and let this mystery unravel before you.

The "full" cup was quite a bit skinnier than the "reg" cup, which caught my attention, since it wasn't that much taller. I started to make a tiny little scene about it within the group to drum up anticipation for this blog post and decided to find out how much hot chocolate 50 cents bought me. I filled my cup up with water to the top, then poured it into the other cup and i was left with maybe half an inch of water at the bottom of my cup. a sip. An effing sip.

You sneaky little hipster thieves. You think that because you made the cup taller i wouldn't notice? Well i did, and i took a picture of it (but my phone is crappy and it didn't turn out. I promise it was my phone), and i'm going to write about it, and you're going to go out of business now because of how powerful this blog is. I mean, come on, if i can send sun chips screaming home to it's mom, i can easily bring you down.

In the end, my friends convinced me to not confront them at the counter because after all, they're just "the messengers", but they're not. They knew exactly what they were doing, when they poured my "full" hot chocolate. effing hipsters. Actually, one of them looked like he legitimately hated his job and in the end, that is what stopped me. Otherwise. . . . mayhem.

And the hot chocolate wasn't even that good.


MindySue said...

Oh, you poor little ripped off baby. Welcome to the real world. Just wait till your kids want Zhu Zhu pets.

EyesofAtlantic said...

goodness Matt. Come to Boise. I'll make you hot chocoloate.