Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Sausage to Bun Ratio: An Unholy Union

I'm going to cite andrew farrer (google him, or friend [verb?] him on facebook) for this idea. In fact he basically wrote the whole thing. . . . so thanks. Also, if it sucks, blame him. Send him hate messages on facebook. Seriously.

Sooooooooo. Anyway. The sausage to bun ratio. What the french. I mean, it's cool. Who doesn't love extra sausages laying around the house? Uh. I don't. It's a waste. Ok, can i be frank (speaking of sausages) with you for a second? I actually don't care that it's wasteful. I'm kind of wasteful person myself. Growing up, my mom would go through the garbage and pick out recycling. I admired her tenacity. It was inspiring. So inspiring that i dumped the recycling back into the garbage when she wasn't looking. I'm actually pro garbage. I'd love to explain why, but it's really complicated so i'm not going to. Just know that for every bit of recycling you do, i'm canceling you out by being extra wasteful.

Oops. That got out of hand. Ok, the ratio. I'm pretty sure that the sausage and bun companies are conspiring together in order to make the most frustrating ratio. I'd imagine a convo between the two would go something like this.

Sausage: how many sausages should we put in our pack?
Bun: five
Sausage: but aren't you. . . . . . ahhhhhhhhhh. . . . . . nice.

It's a fairly simple conversation, which is interesting because it's a fairly simple ratio that both companies should be able to figure out. So simple that one can only assume that they did it on purpose, which leads me to believe that there are evil people running both companies. Evil or stupid. Or both. Or neither. Or evil, stupid, and angry. Or blah blah blah etc etc etc.

And, like andrew suggested, the sausage to bun ratio is essentially a metaphor for life. There is an overabundance of women in the world (nearfact). And most of them are crazy (factfact). Just kidding. But seriously though. Crazy.

Andrew, i hope this is everything you expected and more. I know you probably wanted me to touch on the metaphor a little more, but i feel like it's kind of not a place i want to venture. Like, i might find myself being the victim of vandalism. Or. . . . i just wanted to quit writing. Ug.

1 comment:

MindySue said...

You are right. They totally do it on purpose.

Now for a post on the stupidity of children's toys that make you buy the original toy and then continue to buy "refill" items for the toys. (e.g. the Easy-Bake oven) or on things like Zhuzhu pets, where the pet itself is rather inexpensive but all the accessories are through the roof ($15/per and don't work well unless you buy at least 6 of them) Obviously I could write this post, but I think that you would do a better job. Plus my MIL just gave my girls an easy bake oven.