Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Snuggie For Dogs: I'm Shaking With Rage

I know what you're thinking. "Matt. . . really. . . . another snuggie post?". Yes. Another snuggie post. As long as they keep producing this crap, i'll keep writing negative posts about them, and it seems like they're literally going to milk this to death.

Future posts might include:
Snuggie for Cows: Udderly Ridiculous. HA!!!!
Snuggie for the Deceased: Cloak of Death.
Snuggie for the Independent Tween: Makes a Great Strangling Device.
Snuggie for Justine Bieber: Still Not Attractive On Women.
Snuggie for Obama: Bejeweled With Socialist Propaganda.
Snuggie for Hobos: Snuggie for Dumb.

Anyway, i could seriously go on for days, but i won't because that would be dumb. . . . but actually that would be pretty impressive. But i digress. Snuggies for dogs. Click here to see some mutts being made to look really pathetic. I mean, what better way to humiliate a dog, then to make it wear a snuggie. Dogs wearing clothes in general, are bad enough, but snuggies? Really?

Purely for scientific reasons, i watched the advertisement that they show on the website and it killed me. Luckily for you and i both, i mastered the skill of resurrection and promptly came back to life, irritated that i had died, but eager to write about what a horrible thing the snuggie has done to the world. Unfortunately, i got distracted (bathroom. number 1) and when i came back to type, i had forgotten everything, so you're stuck with some mildly entertaining (subjective, i know) humor, with some mildly offensive (once again, somewhat subjective) one liners. Eff.

So, about the advertisement. What really bugs me is that whenever they show the product that they're competing with, they make it in black and white. I'm not sure why they do this. I'd imagine that it has some psychological effect on people, but all i really see is a somewhat nostalgic video. You know? It brings me back to simpler times. Times when dogs didn't wear anything because THEY'RE EFFING DOGS. . . .

I guess the one thing i did enjoy is when the lady is putting the sweater on the dog, it is obviously waaaaay too small and it looks like she is strangling it. That was easily the most entertaining thing on the site. Other than that, it is a terrible waste of the interweb and should be taken off. I urge you to call your internet provider and complain. Hopefully this will go the way of the noisy sunchip bag. Eff you snuggie for dogs. Eff. You.

p.s. if you make your dog wear a snuggie, it will hate you. that's a matt irving guarantee, which may or may not hold up in court.

p.p.s. oh crap, this post is dedicated to brett, who, in his relentless struggle to bring me material, showed me the link at about 1 in the morning. And by relentless, i mean this is the only time he's done something like this.

3 comments:

Courtney said...

I can't believe you totally missed the best part of the website! The dogs playing backgammon!! In snuggies!!! Actually I don't really know what backgammon is or if that's even how you spell it, but whatever it is, it sure is adorable.

Matthew said...

two things.
1. i know. i need to spend more time researching. you've pointed this out several times. i get it. ha.
2. it is adorable. adorably disgusting.

Lara said...

Have you seen this? The WTF blanket video? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y

There's a series of them. They can be somewhat offensive (subjective).