Ok, when i'm at a real restaurant, i generously tip 3%. I figure these ladies (and gents) have to make a living somehow, right? Right, but what do you do if you get crappy service? Should you not tip?
Example: One time i was at denny's (first mistake). I ordered a handburger with no tomatoes and my friend ordered moons over my hammy (second mistake). When i said "no tomatoes", i looked her in the eyes and said, "ma'am, it is imperative that i do not get tomatoes on my handburger". With wide eyes, she looked at me and and said "ok". I felt like we had some sort of understanding (later, i realized that she probably had wide eyes because she had done cocaine). When i got my handburger, it had tomatoes on it. Not only that, but my friend didn't even get what he asked for. He got a handburger as well. We stared at each other for a while, not knowing what to do, grudgingly ate our "food", then left without tipping. I was this [fingers held apart approximately 4 inches] close to starting a fight with her. I hate tomatoes that much.
Am i a bad person for not tipping? maybe. It's the only time i've ever done that. I'm usually pretty willing to tip even if i get bad service because i understand that everyone has frustrating days. This was just beyond anything i'd ever experienced. Honestly. Who confuses a moons over my hammy with a handburger? Probably someone who is tripping on acid.
Anyway, the real reason i decided to write about tipping was because i didn't have anything to write about, and i'm confused by fast food restaurants and other random food places putting a tip line on their receipts. Yeah, i'm going to tip the mcdonalds employee that made my lardburger. Do they just put it there to try and guilt you in to tipping? Probably. It works, because every time i put a zero on the tip line, i feel like a jackass, regardless of where i am.
Thanks fast food people. You've alienated me for not tipping you, even if you don't deserve it.
ps, someone sent me this idea a week ago, but i forgot who it was. Thank you so-and-so. You've inspired me with your negativity.