Wednesday, December 15, 2010

World Series of Poker: Do My Eyes Deceive Me? No They Do Not. . . . . Sad. Also, This Should Make Up For My Last Post.

Sorry about yesterday's snafu (it's a word, i looked it up. . . relax). I was in a weird place and i just couldn't do it. Anyway, today i brought in Andrew Hobbs, or Hobbs as he is known in certain seedy circles, a Professional Human Being, to explain how the downfall of civilization is negatively correlated to the rise of popularity in televised poker. *Quick note, i will be interjecting my opinion. Anytime you see these, [ ], know that i'm probably disagreeing with something. oh, and i've also crossed some stuff out.*

My credentials as a Professional Human Being are as follows: public education (where humans coexist), work places of various kinds and the internet but not World of Warcraft [debatable]. I thank Matt for the glamorous introduction and the opportunity to explain what is now known as the Great Decay of Modern Society (GDMS).

Humans, not to be confused with “Ultimate Humans”, are prone to finding entertainment. For example, ESPN is an all sports all the time Mecca for men of the key demographic 20-35, with hours of grid iron [dumb], American mare kin pastime [dumb], slam dunks [dumb] and …. The World Series of Poker? That can’t be right.

Why would hours of my time be given to 5-7 men who are wearing sunglasses indoors? These “grown-ups” are equipped with “hook up artist” cowboy hats, a hand full of cards, chips and pockets full of contact information for their AA sponsors. Plus, the prize is not a coveted trophy like the Stanley Cup but a wrist band that can be bought from the “As Seen on TV” store. Why are they taking up my valuable channel space?

In a basic cable package, which I as a Professional Human use to unwind, there are only a handful of channels. Most are owned by Ted Turner or Disney which means I can watch almost every Idea that Tyler Perry has or I can watch a few sporting events and Justin[e] Bieber. My choices are limited. To take some of that space and fill it with a Rehab session of the world’s creepiest bachelors is a mockery of what the warm glow of TV stands for.§

Thanks Hobbs, i appreciate your take on this ghastly game. I too have never understood how people can be entertained by watching grown men sit around a table, appearing to stare at each other, for hours on end. You have said what i could have said, only with more capitalized letter and less commas. In the next post, we will further discuss the Great Decay of Modern Society.

§ Andrew went on to talk about solutions to exterminate the WSoP players, but i kind of felt it was on the cusp of being somewhat inappropriate, so i cut it.


MindySue said...

When did you start cutting things because they were inappropriate??!

Matthew said...

well, usually i don't, but this one wasn't so much on the cusp, as it was so far past the cusp, it warranted cutting.

HABBS said...

You know I thought about the cusp comment and I think I have to agree with you. I was trying to be as negative as I could be. Later I kind of just realized that I was over poker and made a hot pocket.