Sunday, February 14, 2010

Celebrities are Similar to Unicorns. . .

Somewhat mythical, and disappointing.

I was walking down the streets of new york with some friends and i walked by a guy that looked quite similar to val kilmer, except this guy was a little shorter, huskier and greasier. It wasn't until i was finished staring that i realized that this guy was in fact val kilmer. I prodded a friend and pointed him out. We both talked for a little bit about it, then i mentioned it to the other people in my group. That's right, my group. They were mine. Anyway, the night continued on and he was forgotten. Until i was thinking about the situation today. Prepare to be cynicized.

Why do we care?

Realize that this just isn't a dig on val kilmer. I mean, let's be honest, batman forever was awesome. This is a blanket statement. It covers all hollywood types in general. I understand that he is an entertainer so maybe we like to meet these people that have entertained us at one point in our lives, but why do we feel this inner sense of wonderment (and by we, i mean other people, obviously)? Why do people wait outside night clubs to meet a celebrity? Why do they follow what a celebrity is doing at all times? Why do people care that so-and-so is now engaged to so-and-so? The only connection we have with these people is we saw them on a television. . . . . once, maybe twice. Are our lives that terrible that we feel the need to detach from our current situation and live in someone else's shoes?

These "people" might be talented actors, and they genuinely might be great people. I'm not here to judge that person (although i do). I'm here to ask why we're convinced that everything on the outside is better than what we have? I love my life. I love my friends. I love my family. They are the coolest people on the planet, exponentially more entertaining than any celebrity, and have some of the most interesting lives. . . Ever.

Ug. Wouldn't we be better off taking interest in our own lives, rather than the lives of people who don't really influence us.

In the defense of hollywood, it does shape American culture. It shapes how kids act and how adults act. Kids mimic things they see on television. That's part of the learning process. This can either be a good or bad thing depending on what they're watching. The scary part is that hollywood shapes how adults think and act, even though their brains are fully developed. I'm probably guilty of this. I don't know how, but i'm sure i am.

Basically, what i'm saying is hollywood is dumb. I'm coooler than them and i'm jealous that they make money for doing easy things, and if you tell me that acting isn't easy, you're an idiot.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The End of an Era: Playing God is so much Fun

But. . . . . . . the time comes when we put down foolish things (Look to other teleprompter, or LTOT). I have renounced Facebook purgatory. It's true. I had some facebook friends in purgatory (LTOT). 54 of them to be exact (LTOT). And on this beautiful day, February. . . . . . . . . 8, i accepted them (LTOT). Let it be known throughout the world that i'm no longer playing God by keeping these poor souls in purgatory, but i'm fostering new relationships (LTOT) with these people, new beginnings, and hopefully , the day will come when we can hope for (LTOT) change amongst facebook associates. When we can wake up in the morning (LTOT) and video chat, instead of just regular chat (LTOT). When we can go to bed and say goodnight to all our facebook associates (LTOT), just like they did on the Waltons, but it'd be longer because their are more people (LTOT). These are the changes that i hope for. And as someone who's finished the internet (LTOT), i will do what i can to be the catalyst for change. God Bless (LTOT) America.

Unless i get annoyed again (highly likely), in which case i'll start deleting people again.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Past Adventures: An Overview of Vietnam

Gooooooood morning Vietnam (robin williams), how are you? busy? crazy? you are? I'm sorry. you were a real treat to travel through, except the last little bit, but other than that, you were very nice. Well, you are welcome, i do what i can.

Sorry, that got out of hand, fast.

My first experience of Vietnam, was interesting. Actually, i'm not sure if this was Vietnam, or Cambodia, but i think it was Vietnam. Anyway, i'm on the back of a motorcycle taxi, holding on to this guy and my back pack. The wind is in my hair. It's warm, but very humid. Suddenly, i get an objective view of myself, and i start thinking "i'm in Vietnam. what the eff am i doing in Vietnam?" It makes me smile and fills me with a sense of adventure.

Wait, never mind. i was reading in my journal and that was actually cambodia, so disregard. yeah, i could delete it and start over, but i'm not.

My first experience of Vietnam was Ho Chi Minh City, which was renamed after the war. It used to be Saigon. Anyway, Saigon (it's shorter) is the craziest place i've ever been. Ever. Words
cannot describe how incredible it is. The streets are filled with motorcycles, scooters, cars, bicycles, etc.... You name it, they're driving it.

When you cross the street, you don't hesitate, you look towards oncoming traffic, and you step off the curb and start walking, all the while making eye contact with the people screaming by you on their scooters. You don't stop until you get to the opposite side, where you promptly poop your pants due to fear or indigestion. I remember being terrified the first time i had to cross the road, but by the end, it was great. The foreigners who were new to the country, had crazy looks on their faces because they didn't know what to do, and i'd just walk up and start crossing the street without any hesitation. Probably not actually that cool, but i felt cool.

While in Saigon, i accidently went to an amusement park (i don't want to explain, just know it was an accident) and it ended up being pretty cool. Dam Sen Amusement Park, or something like that. I also visited some of the viet cong tunnels, or at least fancy recreations of the tunnels. Mostly, i just felt like they were trying to sell me something at every corner. After a few days, i left and wandered north by train.

I stopped at a city called Nha Trang where i spent a little time on the beach and saw this old man go out in the biggest waves i'd ever seen (recent typhoon). I was scared for him. I saw a lot of the city because i rented a bike. It was really fun to see all the boats in the harbor. The only problem is that it smelled like fish. A lot. And it made me want to throw up. A lot. I didn't, but i wanted to. The coast of Vietnam is really really awesome. Oh, I also played badminton with an old lady and she KILLED me. Wasn't even close. I've never seen an elderly person move like that. Ever. Not even on TV, except i did see a movie where an old person was running around, but it was obviously a stunt double.

After Nha Trang, i wandered further north to a place called Hoi An, which had a killer huge market, then went even further to the capital city, Hanoi. Hanoi is cool, but not as cool as Saigon. While there, i went to the coast and took a boat ride around Hao Long
Bay, which is easily one of the coolest geologic areas i've ever
seen. Huge limestone islands rise out of the ocean. Similar to Avatar with the floating islands on Pandora, except they're not floating, they are anchored to the earth sans magnets. After that, i boarded the bus ride from Hades and went to Laos. The End.

And now for something negative. STD's. Those are negative.


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Past Adventures: An Overview of Laos

If you want to crawl into my brain, i've posted journal entries from my trip to Laos. You can access them through the Archive on the right side of the screen, or i'll link them in this post. They are quite a trip, if i do say so myself. And by trip, i mean dumb.

Anyway, so i took a 24 hour bus ride from Hanoi, Vietnam, to Vientiane, Laos. Both capital cities. It was the single worst bus experience of my life, and i've had tons. Want to hear about it? Click here. NOTE: i'm not lumping trains, boats and busses together because i've had a train ride that was way worse than that, and i've also had a boat ride that was about equal.

Arriving in Laos was a culture shock. After being in Vietnam, where everyone tries to sell you things, it was nice to be in a place where nobody cares that you're there. I actually had to look around for a place to stay. It was. . . . . . . . nice. very pleasant actually. For you history buffs. Vientiane became the capital in 1975 after the communist takeover. Just an FYI. After leaving the capital, i took a minibus up north, to the old capital, Luang Prabang. It was really nice. The market was super cool. Lot's of crafts. There, i hiked up to some caves, walked around, and just generally had a good time. I met some cool people, but i don't remember them. One thing that struck me was walking past some of the shops and watching the other foreigners watching Friends on tv. Not to get self righteous, bu
t i'm going to. Why would you travel all the way around the world to watch Friends? I don't know the answer.

When i was finished with Luang Prabang, i jumped on a slow boat up the Mekong. It was really really slow. It took two days. Ug. They had fast boats, but they were supposedly really dangerous so i opted out. If i could go back, i would have taken the fast boat and risked it. The slow boat was. . . . . . . . loud. Really loud. All the time.

Anyway, partway through the journey, we stopped at a city along the river for the night. I remember laying in bed, listening to the conversation of the people on the other side of the wall. It consisted of this nepalese kid hitting on this japanese girl. It was a really awkward conversation and i felt awkward for the dude. After he left, i chatted with the japanese girl through the wall for a bit, teasing her about the event that just unfurled. I drifted off, and never saw or spoke to her again. Interesting how life is.

We finally arrived at the thai border. I crossed quickly, excited to meet up with my friends in a couple days. That is until i found out they weren't going to be in thailand till Christmas. Sad day, but Laos was fun, and i was sure that thailand would be fun, with or without my friends.

And now for something negative/offensive, click here.
don't worry, it's not offensive in the way you think. if you're not willing to watch the whole thing, i'd be more than happy to give you an overview. Just ask. :)