Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Great American Wedding Gown: Never Has Patriotism Looked So Stupid (Aside From The Tea Party Movement)

Where to begin? It seems that for once, words have failed me. I guess I'll just post the picture and let it sink in for a bit. Click here for a link to the website that sells this monstrosity.

Five things came to my mind after seeing this picture.
1. The entire tea party population probably just climaxed.
2. It's very vain of me to think that anyone reads my blog, let alone the entire tea party population.
3. It's incredibly ignorant of me to think that the entire tea party population can read.
4. It's copyrighted by romantic gowns? How on earth can that gown be classified as romantic?
5. She's hot (keep in mind i just glanced at the picture, i didn't really examine it, so if you're thinking she's not hot, you're probably right).

Anyway, nothing says "i love my country" like wrapping your naked body in the great american wedding gown (GAWG, "gog" for short, or "magog" (marriage gown) for long) for the most important day of your life. Not even donning a wig and protesting our president's citizenship (or lack thereof). The only thing i could think of that would be more patriotic is if you lived in germany during the 40's and literally wore an american flag as a shirt while running up to das feuer and falcon punching him (punch to the groinal area). That my friends, would take the proverbial cake in my book.

It's just hard for me to imagine (and i have a great imagination) that ANYONE would ever look at the "gog" and think that their wedding would be made perfect if they looked like a giant flag. To be fair, they did knock $900.00 off the price of the "gog" so the "gog" is now only $499.00 (which, in my "humble" opinion, is $499.00 too much), so i could see how people might be foiled into thinking that purchasing the "gog" was a good idea.

To go along with the dress (apparently it's a tea party themed post) i've posted a link to an interesting youtube video.

Ok. Two things i'd like to clarify about the next link.
1. I totally respect these people as human beings. They are free to believe in whatever they want. They have passion for their belief. That's good. Even though that belief is that a medically diagnosed mentally handicapable person could do a better job as president than the current illegal immigrant we have right now.
2. That being said, my heart goes out for these people. They were given the opportunity to believe in whomever they wanted and out of almost 8 billion people, they chose the absolute worst. [single tear runs down cheek]

On that note, i'll leave you with this little ditty. Thanks Layne. You owe me.

P.S. - JC, don't be a hater. I know how much you love mr. sarah palin.


MindySue said...

Wow. Just. Wow.
Loved the Gog and Magog part.

Matthew said...

i'm glad you picked up on that, although it'd be hard not to since i made it pretty obvious.

Samuel said...

I could see myself wearing that...

J-Hal said...

I don't have any political feelings. I am neutral. But I did already buy the dress for my future daughter. She WILL be patriotic. If not she will have to give the dress back.

Josh & Chelsey Searle said...


Sweet Em said...

I tried and I tried to listen to the entire "music video" but I just. couldn't. do it.

"Gog and Magog" has drastically increased the high esteem I hold you in.

Anonymous said...

I am actually thinking about ordering this dress for my wedding day! I think it is the perfect way to say you love your country and I would be proud to look like a big giant flag. I am doing it in the honor of our country and the men and women who has made it what it is today.