Thursday, January 13, 2011

Hating Hate: So Passé, Which Is French For Dumb

I did it. I accepted the fact that i can't force positivity into my life and i'm fully embracing my negativity. Sort of like how anakin skywalker was basically born a terrible person and it took him until early adult hood to realize that he's a terrible person and there was no point in trying to be good. The only difference is that:

a) no one is pregnant (at least i'm 99% sure no one is)
b) i technically don't have "the force"
c) i wasn't born negative (it's been a slow transition ever since i started dating)
d) i'm not half robot (or am i?)
e) my name is matt, not anakin.
f) me, blah blah blah, i could do this for days.

Anyway, why is it so wrong to hate things anyway? I guess when i use the word hate, it incorporates many different words into it such as; dislike, annoyance, mild annoyance, brief confusion, poop tarts, you know. . . stuff like that.

So when i say that i hate things, it's a very loose definition.

I hate sneezing while driving. It is easily the worst feeling you can have while driving, aside from being old and running over a crowd of people unintentionally because you put your car in drive when you meant to put it in reverse, or because you hit the gas when you meant to hit the brakes. . . . either one. I think it's worse than sliding sideways, but that's just me. At least sliding sideways is fun.

The thing i hate most about sneezing while driving is that you're basically giving up your free agency. It's as if God decided to roll a pair of dice to decide whether or not you will either die (pun) or kill a baby or just keep driving in a straight line. I don't know about you, but i'm annoyed by those odds. I've been pretty fortunate to not hit any babies so far, and hopefully i can continue that trend.

Anyway, I realize this is kind of a weird thing to hate, but i hate it nonetheless so go suck eggs.

2 comments:

HABBS said...

Star Wars references are always good. Its good to have you as a beacon i can count on

Hayley said...

Hahaha getting more negative since you started dating. I think that happened to me too. What a discovery. So is that why married people are so annoyingly happy? I love sneezing but I dont think its ever happened to me while driving