Thursday, January 27, 2011

Pantsing: It's Not Pantsing. It's Depantsing, You Idiots.

I had a conversation with a hobo the other day and the topic of depantsing came up, although they (not this specific hobo, the general population of hobos) called it pantsing, something that has been bothering me most of my adult life, which it turns out, began a couple weeks ago.

Why would you call it pantsing? Because you're in idiot. If you pants someone, you are putting pants onto someone. While this would be an incredibly funny prank, i just don't see it being pulled off in a quick fashion. It'd be kind of a long drawn out process, which might make it even funnier. I'm not sure.

If you DEpants someone, you're pulling down their pants in public (as i'm writing this i can't believe people even do this. It's terrible. It really sounds like the meanest thing you could ever do to someone aside from falcon punching them) so as to cause maximum amount of embarrassment to the depantsee (person being depantsed) and cause 100% satisfaction to the depantser (person doing the depantsing).

Get it?
Pantsing: putting pants onto someone as quick as possible without prior consent.
Depantsing: taking pants off of someone as quick as possible without prior consent (some people just pull the pants to the ground, but a true depantsing is all the way off. This is a very difficult maneuver and sometimes requires the subject to be unconscious, dead, paralyzed [with or without fear]. . . . . and this is starting to sound illegal.)

There are some key differences in the pantsing/depantsing debacle Obviously one is a little more frowned upon than the other. And also one may or may not sound a little bit like a precursor to rape (i do not condone rape). I only bring to light the differences because i know that if i had pantsed someone (put a pair of pants on them as quick as possible without prior consent), i definitely wouldn't want to be accused of depantsing someone.

For example:
Ted: did you hear that matt irving pantsed someone?
Florence: Oh, that is terrible. Matt is quite the scoundrel.
vs.
Ted: did you year that matt irving pantsed someone?
Florence: Oh, that is awesome. Matt is quite the hero!

Do you see how that might play out if people were confused? Yeah, it'd be terrible.

I'm sure a lot of you will argue that it's called "pantsing", but that's because you're stupid. Either that or raised incorrectly. Go ahead. Blame your parents. Blame them for teaching you that it's ok to say words that mean the opposite of what the word is supposed to mean, because it's not ok. It's disrespectful. It's disrespectful to your family. It's disrespectful to women. And it's disrespectful to America. Grow up.

12 comments:

Nichole said...

I agree. It is called depantsing!!! I have had this argument several times... people dont get it.

merk said...

matt. thank you.

MindySue said...

The word "pants" just has issues. Not only is "pantsing" what nearly everyone says when talking about quickly removing someone's pants as a prank, but we also say "a pair of pants" when we are in fact referring to only one article of clothing.

Matthew said...

isn't it a pear of pants? meaning one pant-like object the eerily resembles a pear.

Matthew said...

the real issue is that it's NOT called pantsing. It's called DEpantsing and people just use the wrong word. This post is meant to clarify people's misunderstandings.

Anonymous said...

ugh. Idiot. Its pantsing. Do we really have to have this conversation.

Matthew said...

if you'd punctuate properly, i'd be more apt to listen to you, but as it stands, it appears that you're the idiot.

Anonymous said...

It's more of an idiom that works both ways.

Anonymous said...

Punctuating correctly is one thing; akin to the inability to capitalize properly whilst blogging. It's pantsing. But it's cool bro, be contrarian.

Anonymous said...

How to you reconcile the fact that if you peel something, you're taking the peel off? Or if you husk corn, you're taking the husk off?

DarkOne X said...

I also agree that it's called depantsing. I've always called and heard it called that growing up and it wasn't until recently probably in the past couple years as a 30 something year old have I heard it called pantsing. Now that I've heard it referred to as pantsing it seems I've never heard it called depantsing anymore, and it's quite infuriating as that makes no damn sense!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever heard of the word contronym/contranym? It appears that you are the idiot.