Friday, January 21, 2011

The Snazzy Napper: It's Like Privacy In a Bag. A Very Very Dumb Bag.

It seems that NASA has canceled moon. They're taking it down next week. Apparently the american public has lost interest in space and so to prove a point, they're taking it down, which sucks. I thought we were pretty close to beating russia at the space race, but i guess we'll have to beat them at some other game. Anyway, the good news is that since they're shutting down the space pogrom, it has freed up some of these incredibly brilliant scientists who can now concentrate on making our world a better place.

Enter the snazzy napper.

The snazzy napper is the hate-child of a snuggie and a burkha. With one crazy parent, you can see just how messed up the hate-child can become. . . . . . Oh please, i'm not about to crack muslim jokes so relax. The crazy parent was the snuggie, although the snazzy napper does in fact remind me of a burkha, which is why it's one of the "parents". The difference between a snazzy napper and a burkha is one is functional, albeit only religiously, while the other is dumb. the snazzy napper is dumb. not the burkha. . . . .

Anyway, i personally think this is worse than a snuggie because at least a snuggie is used in the privacy of your own home. These heathens expect you to pull out your snazzy napper in public and use it. No effing way is that going to happen. If i ever see someone using one, i'm going to throw a pongquat (it's a fruit. google it. don't google it) at their face. Literally. I will go to a grocery store and buy a pongquat. Even if they aren't in season. They'll never know what hit them. . . at least until they regain consciousness and take that stupid thing off.

I like (kind of a sarcastic use of the word "like") how they put indicators (moon, sheep) on the outside that let other people know you're not a crazy person, just sleeping. Like, "oh, what the eff is that? Why is that person wearing a bag on their head? Oh wait, the sleeping moon indicates to me that the person underneath is not crazy, but is sleeping. . . . . Hand me a pongquat."

One of the most ridiculous things about it is their tag line, "It's like privacy in a bag". Really? Privacy in a bag. You really couldn't come up with anything better? Here is a list of tag lines that i think are of equal or greater value.
1) it's like being blind, but temporary.
2) it's like privacy, but stupid.
3) it's like sleeping, in a sack.
4) it's similar to being smothered, but not, but kind of because you're essentially wrapping your face in a bag.
5) it's equivalent to dumb.

Anyway. Ug, this is a long one that's what she said. (one sentence)

Click here for some domestic violence that will make you laugh, because nothing is funnier than domestic violence. Nothing.

1 comment:

Lara said...

I invented something way less dumb for the 4th grade science fair. How are these people getting their "inventions" funded? There must be a hardcore underground ring of stupidity and pongquats.

Speaking of that...so I Googled pongquats. Besides asking me if I meant "pingchat" the only result that returned was matt's blog of negativity. I'm calling you out. You totally made this up.