Friday, February 11, 2011

Ugly Talent: What Happened to It?

Do you know what i reminisce about? Ugly talent. What happened to it?

It seemed to me that back in the day, if you were talented, you had a good chance of being successful, regardless of your looks. This isn't the case nowadays. I mean, yeah, you'll get the occasional susan boyle, but really she's not ugly. I've seen uglier.

Why is it?

Is it because we're a society fixated on outer appearances? Probably. I made up a frightening statistic the other day that said 95% of life is based on looksª. Eff. It looks like i'm going to have it rough. In case you're having trouble wrapping your mind around that statistic, let me spell it out for you. Literally. hahahahahahaha.

Life is easier if you're attractive. You'll get better jobs if you're attractive. If you're attractive, you'll get into a better school, have more money, marry into money, have awesome dogs, eat better food, read better books, sit in better chairs. take better showers. . . . the list goes on. I mean, i could talk about this for hours, but i won't because that'd be dumb. However, i will do one more short paragraph.

If you're attractive, you'll have better eyes or at least be able to afford better eyes. You will have better health care. You will live longer. You will throw up less, if at all. You will be get better fortunes in fortune cookies. You will be taller. You will wear sweet sneakers. You will have gold teeth or chrome teeth or diamond studded teeth. You will wear large obnoxious jewelry. You will have large rims on your cars that spin. You will make it rain.

So the next time you feel like you've been wronged, just remember that it's no one's fault but your own. Or, i guess your parents. Blame them.

ª that statistic is real. believe it.


Lara said...

My boob job has been my best investment ever.

{kidding. I don't have a boob job.}


Bryan James said...
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Kira C. said...

Sometimes I hate hot people for saying they got fired for being "too good looking." I automatically think they're lying and that they probably got fired for actually being really dumb.