Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Work Meetings: A Camp4 Collective Extravaganza!!!!

Nothing is more fun than work meetings, am i right? You show up. The boss is late. Everyone hates everyone else which results in nasty stares from across the table. The occasional fart smell wafts through the room. The few people who acknowledge the smell steal a shifty glance at “that one girl” who is most likely the culprit. John won’t talk to Kevin because he’s still upset kevin ate his sandwich. Kevin won't talk to John because John put poop on his sandwich knowing that kevin would eat it. It’s generally not a good time, which leads to stupid work meetings. . . . unless. . . . you work for camp4 collective and conduct your work meetings skiing at jackson hole, which does in fact make said meetings somewhat enjoyable.

But before you all go getting in a huff because my work meetings are better than yours, keep in mind that just because they are sweet, doesn’t make them perfect. For example. . . . .

When we left salt lake city, we didn’t even make it past Ogden before being pulled over. I’m not going to place blame, but hennie van jaarsveld was driving so it was his fault. To top it off, somebody (not going to place blame) named hennie van jaarsveld accidentally punctured a beverage he had placed in his laptop bag essentially draining the entire contents of said beverage onto and inside of his laptop. This all occurred while the state trooper was running his name since he didn’t have his license (he lost 3 days prior). The leak incident was brought to our attention by somebody (i’m not going to name names) named pat fenelon who started complaining that his pants were getting wet by some mysterious liquid. We only found out it was the beverage after Hennie drove away with a hefty fine.

We were all amused (sans Hennie) that so many things had happened thus far and were convinced that nothing else could go wrong.

That was until somebody (i’m not going to name names) named hennie van jaarsveld slid his truck into a snowbank causing the passenger side window to explode in tim’s face as well as putting a hefty dent into the truck door. Ug. What a rough start. . . . for hennie. I actually had a really hard time not laughing. Not because i’m a jerk, but because i thought it was funny that all these bad things were happening to hennie and not meª

Anyway, we made it to Jimmy’s place after enduring the rest of the freezing cold drive (it wasn’t that long that’s what she said. one sentence). Once we got there, we geared up and made a quick run from the top of teton pass. It. Was. Epic. aka really great snow. aka fresh tracks. aka snow beard. aka worth the hike. aka awesome.

We got back to Jimmy’s place, had a meeting, argued about who the face of camp 4 should be. Actually, it wasn’t really an argument. My face got the unanimous vote. So sweet. I mean, i always thought i had a really nice face, but this just kind of cemented my thoughts into my large bulbous head.

After discussing stuff (i really don’t remember, i didn’t pay attention) we ate dinner then passed out in one giant bed. Just kidding. . . . . . or am i?

The next morning we woke up early, which is a relative term because it was around 7:18 when i woke up and that was kind of early for me, but for most other people we slept in. So. . . anyway, we woke up, ate some breakfast and drove to jackson hole.

The next 4 hours were kind of blur. In between attempting to keep up with everyone, pounding advil and tomahawking down the hill, i saw some pretty good skiing. I did drop one tiny cliff. And jimmy did get knocked off a cliff by someone who shall remain nameless. . . . . Pat Fenelon. ha. It was funny. Jimmy was on the edge of cliff and baller snowboarder mcgee pat came rolling up and knocked him the eff off the cliff. ha. HA.

Towards the end of the day, half the group headed up the tram and were awesome, the other half rode the gondola up and had a banger groomed run. Hennie and pat showed off there skillz while tim and i haphazardly rode as fast as we could down the hill. At one point, i was genuinely concerned that i wouldn’t be able to stop since my legs felt like jello, but alas i was able to and nobody died. Which is mostly a good thing.

Anyway, we bailed, came back to victor and argued about sustainability for a while. Only 3 punches were thrown and none of them were landed, so no biggie. If you’re curious as to who threw the punches, i’ll let you suss that out in your mind. Good luck.

The last day, we woke up and hit the pass one last time. It was so good. Fresh tracks. Couldn’t ask for anything better. Well, i mean i could, but i won’t. Anyway, we left a little after noon, drove to driggs to get the window fixed (ie polyvinyl chloride aka Saran Wrap) but received a call from jimmy saying hennie forgot his laptop. . . . ug. So we drove back to jimmy’s place and grabbed some food but for some reason, this confused us greatly and we forgot hennie’s laptop. . . again. Oh, and by “us” i mean Hennie. Hennie forgot his laptop again. Not us.

Blah, we drove home, stopping by my mom’s house to get some rice crispy treats. When we got to slc, we all went our separate ways, which was nice because i was so sick of looking at everyone’s faces as they were probably sick of looking at mine as well.

the end.

ª i was surprised they weren’t happening to me because on my way to meet up with hennie i laughed at a car that had a tiny spare tire. I mean. it was was funny looking. I would have been an idiot not to laugh at it.


J-Hal said...

This is what I wanted to post: "Dumbest. Post. Ever."

But because I didn't want to sever any kind of a relationship with you, Matt, I decided to post this instead:
"What an interesting story. Sounds like Camp 4 is sure a neat company. Hope you were all safe. And nice to each other. Oh - no one cares about your stupid work meetings. Other than that - great post!"

Please don't end our fake relationship. (I hope you are laughing).

Oh, one more thing. Will you PLEASE start capitalizing your personal pronoun "i?!"

Matthew said...

eff you j-hal. Not only will i not capitalize the personal pronoun "i", i've now decided to never capitalize your name. Forever. This is what you make me do. I don't like it, but that's how it's going to be.

J-Hal said...

Although I feel sad about this decision, I understand the logical pattern. It makes perfect sense.

MindySue said...

and what, exactly, is negative about this post? it sounds like you had fun!