Friday, March 25, 2011

American Flight Attendants: Crabby Patties

Once again, another front loaded blog postº. I’m sitting on a plane and i noticed how awesome asian flight attendants are and how angry american flight attendants are.


They all deal with the same stuff. The whiny passengers, the drunk passengers, the black-out drunk passengers (hennie), the ambien passengers (nichole), the tall passengers, the passengers that accidentally poop their pants, the passengers that take up two seats even though they only paid for one (another blog post entirely), the passenger that has to sit next to the last person, the first-class passengers, blah blah blah, etc etc etc.

What’s the difference?

Maybe it’s the sense of entitlement that we, as americans have. After all, we live in a free country and everything belongs to us. Money. Freedom. Awesomeness. Why can’t we all have a banger job where people treat us like the queen of england and give us back rubs and bring us orange juice? Because it would be dumb if we all had that job and that’s not how the world works.

It’s like fighting forest fires. No matter how glamorous and awesome and queen-like people think smokejumpers are, there have to be hotshots down on the ground that actually do the work. Zing. Fires don’t put themselves out (actually they do). Do you know what else won’t put fires out? Smokejumpers sitting around making coffee and talking about how cool they are. Zing.

But seriously though, the world cannot function with only kings and queens at the helm. I mean, it could if you used a loose term of the word “function” but it’d be a really weird place to live. Lots of arguments.

But i digress.

Despite having a normal job, i’m happy. You wouldn’t realize it from these posts, but i’m happy. I don’t expect to be a millionaire. I don’t expect to bored (snore) planes at million air (google it. it’s a future post). I don’t expect to rule the world, although i’m not going to lie, i would run a killer world. Lots of dance parties. What i do expect are people to realize that even though they feel like they don’t have much, they in fact have a lot more than most of the world. Unless you belong to that portion of the world who in fact don’t actually have that much, then you can be upset (but what’s funny is that those people tend to be the happiest).

Another thing. No one is forcing them to have this job. If they hate it so much, they should just get a different one. American flight attendants (except for summer, she’s nice). Grow. Up.

º So, just to clear things up, this post was written on my way back from Taiwan, and i found that the only flight attendants that are actually mad are the flight attendants based out of Los Angeles. My conclusion is that most flight attendants are nice, except for the ones based out of Los Angeles. This is because they live in Los Angeles. . . . . . I think.


Cindy Lou said...

You speak the truth once again my friend. I shall observe the flight attendants on my way to and from San Antonio more closely to see if they follow this pattern.

J-Hal said...

Ok, Matt - do you have any idea what you do at your job? I sure as heck don't. One thing I do know is that it SOUNDS like your job isn't "normal." Your little ending says, "...this post was written on my way back from Taiwan, and I found that ..." ON YOUR WAY BACK FROM TAIWAN?! Wasn't it for work? Or what about the post about you having a meeting on the ski slopes? How about going to South America for your "normal job." Please. Normal job my eye.


MindySue said...

I think, perhaps, that Jason has a point.

Matthew said...

Jason, i don't know what you're talking about. You need to do some research.

J-Hal said...

Smooth move, Matt.

Rogue Valley Runners said...

Well you gained a lot of steam at the beginning but you really let those AA queens off easy. It probably like herding cats though.