Friday, March 11, 2011

Autotune: An Electronically “Enhanced” Post. . . . also with a bit of kesha.


Whenever you read the word AUTOTUNE, please read it as if a robot is saying it in a high pitched robot voice.

*End of Attention. . . . well, i mean, you shouldn’t stop paying attention because i probably have some witty sarcasm and you’ll miss it if you do, but it’s just the end of that important message. . . . . . .never mind*

Anyway, some of you might not be fully aware of what AUTOTUNE is so i’m going to fill you in. Here’s a quick and dirty definition.

AUTOTUNE: The act of hiring one or two robots to fill in and emulate the musical notes the singer is intending to sing, but due to his/her ability (or inability depending on how you look at it), is unable to.

Fans of the AUTOTUNE often describe it as enhancing the voice, but i feel like if you use the word enhance, it implies that the voice is already good, but the AUTOTUNE just makes it better. I guess their description is correct, in the same sense that ciabatta bread and mustard enhances a turd sandwich.

What path have we chosen in which the end result is being entertained (word used in a very subjective way) by a bunch of robots? What’s next? Cyberdyne Systems getting lucrative contracts from the united states military? I hope not. That (like glenn beck) has armageddon written all over it. All capitalized. In Bold. And Italics. And Underlined. With an ominous font. Followed by three exclamation points. With maybe blood dripping down from the font. And the font is red. And now take the underline away. Make the word flashing. Get the picture?

All fonts aside, i’ve always been under the impression that if you couldn’t sing certain notes then you should sing music in which you don’t have to hit said notes. Not hire a robot to do it for you.

Enter kesha (I’m not doing that stupid dollar sign thing. it’s stupid).

Kesha is kind of an “artist” who not only fully embraced AUTOTUNE, but was intimate with it in a very illegal way. Meaning, she doesn’t just use it occasionally. It is fully incorporated into all of her “music”.

That being said, i did see a music video with her and a bunch of unicorn people and was strangely enthralled. At this point i would usually put a link to the music video, but i feel like it would be a disservice to my readers. If you’re still psyched, click here and type in kesha music video unicorns and i’m sure you could find it.

Ok, i shouldn’t pick on her. She wasn’t the first to use AUTOTUNE, nor will she be the last. It’s just that stupid dollar sign thing really bugs me on a primitive level. That and the fact that she can’t sing and is getting paid money to sing.


I just wish we could all hearken back to a time when music was music and the people were awesome. Oh, you’d like to be there? click here.


Kira C. said...

Wow. Thanks for the Kesha hate. I almost defriended a man to his face last week for saying he likes her "music."

Francois Tremblay said...

BALTIMORA...... Good time's

MindySue said...

You know. It occurs to me that I comment on all of your posts but that you NEVER comment on mine.

That's not nice.

Matthew said...

mindy, i didn't know you had a blog.