Friday, March 4, 2011

Gumby Jocks: Technically Not My Opinion

Ok, i'm not sure if everyone is going to "get" this next post because it's kind of about climbing and if you don't climb or have only climbed a couple times, then you either won't understand the group i'm talking about or you'll belong to the group i'm talking about. If do "climb" a lot and you still don't understand it, then you're most definitely in the group. Sorry.


That being said, this topic was given to me by a person we'll call M. Usually at this point, i'd reveal who it is because i'm usually a jerk like that, but i'll hold back and actually keep this one a secret. But anyone who knows me knows that i can't keep secrets, so we'll see how this one plays out. Interlaced in the next paragraph is my commentary surrounded by [this].


-matt-

"Do you know what bothers me?!? Gumby jocks. yeah. The dudes who come to the gym wearing soccer warm ups [soccer shorts] and pretend to campus [climb with only your arms] and be strong, when they're really not [they're not]. Do know what else? [what?] They pretend to do one arm pull-ups while holding on to their wrist with the other hand [it's true]. That's not a one arm [it's not]. Stupid idiots [they are]. And get out of my way [get out]. And stop trying to talk to me [stop talking]. I have earbuds in [in]- can't you see i don't want to make small talk [i'm blind]!?! Again, stupid idiots."

-m-


Despite having some grammatical errors, M nailed it. I especially liked that they used the phrase stupid idiot. Very negative if you ask me. Very negative even if you don't ask me. Very negative if you ask your neighbor. Not very negative if you ask the homeless man down the street, but he has other things to worry about, so i probably wouldn't waste too much time worrying about it.


Anyway, to be clear, it's not the fact that they're not that good. I'm not that good. It's not even the fact that their sole purpose of climbing is looking good, because most everyone's sole purpose of climbing is looking good. It's the fact that they think they look good wearing soccer shorts. I mean, jean shorts? Understandable. Sleek, somewhat awesome, with a pinch of snug, but soccer shorts? No thanks, i don't want to see your sideburns when you climb in the cave. Oh come on, i said i don't want to see them. Seriously. Mine are bad enough.


This post is dedicated to chad, because despite wearing soccer shorts, he still climbs harder than all of us.


Thanks M.