Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Sports: If Only There Was Something Better To Do. . . .


If you watch sports, you probably don’t want to read this because i’m essentially going to call you an idiot.

*End of Disclaimer*

If you watch sports, you’re an idiot. . . . . I told you not to keep reading.

I thought it would be funny to just end it after that last sentence, but i like to read my own writing and it wouldn’t be fair to me if i did that, so i won’t.

I’m writing this is because of all the unrest that is going on around the world. Matt, how on earth are you going to tie in unrest and sports? I’ll tell you how. Because i’m the man, that’s how.

Ok, how much happier would the people in egypt be if they had tons of sports to watch like we did (assuming that they don’t, because it’s egypt and they still have pharaohs and what not)? I mean at the end of the day, who cares what’s going on around you as long as your team wins the superbowl or the. . . . i can’t even think of any of the other big tournaments. That’s how cool i am. Really i can’t. Now it’s kind of bugging me. Hold on. . . . . . The world series? that doesn’t seem right since i’ve never heard of anyone else in the world playing in it.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is this. What better way to dumb down the masses, then to get them to care about things other than what’s going on in the government. We (and by we, i mean you) watch these sports and we invest so much energy and time and money into these things that when something occurs in our lives that maybe we don’t agree with, we turn a blind eye and instead turn on the television. We look away and focus on grown men throwing an effing ball around like Cro-Magnon man.

Really? You’d rather watch men in spandex groping each other than be informed on what’s going on in the world? That’s right. The two are exclusive. If you love one, then you despise the other. That’s how it works.

How much better off would the world be if people had priorities that were more conducive to an aweseomely functioning government? Keep in mind i say this as i spend countless hours writing opinionated letters to the world and checking facebook to see if anyone “liked” them. Turns out i’m a hypocrite. . . . and i don't vote.

Anyway, I’ll leave you with this quote:

“Watching sports is a boring waste of life and time. Losers are still losers and people who watch from the benches spending hundreds of dollars to waste 2 hours of their lives watching men get sweaty are the biggest ones.”

-will zurk-


HABBS said...

Ha that first line after the disclaimer was funny. I have to say,only on a matter of counter point, You should watch some patriotic sports videos. Rick Monday or When George Bush through out the first pitch in New York... I get teary eyed. Granted thats because I am an idiot. Don't you collect a government check for not working?

Matthew said...

i've seen that and i wasn't impressed. He throws like a girl. Also, in regards to your last question (however irrelevant it is). Eff yes. "And i'm proud to be a marekin! Where at least i know i'm freeeeeee".

Kira C. said...

I just want "Jimmer" to go away.

MindySue said...

i'm all for the "Rudy" scenario, but other than that, I couldn't give a hoot about organized sports. All they do for me is take my husband away when he should be working on my honey-do list.

J-Hal said...

After this post, I regret deleting a section of our most recent podcast. I told a sports related story but interjected by saying ... "for the Irvings, who don't know what sports are, the LA Dodgers is a baseball team." ... It would have been so timely. So relevant. So funny. Funny because the Irvings are somehow athletic and fit but throw things like small blind and injured children. Also they hate sports. What the heck?
Also, Matt, you sounded like people who claim that religion makes us dumber. Well, at least that what it made me think of. As if sports are the cause of our stupidity (and that religion is the cause of all war and hatred). Poo. I happen to enjoy sports. I also don't really know why I am taking so much time responding to this when I should be writing something for my accounting class. And why I think that your opinion on sports actually matters or is based on anything other than emotion and the realization that sports are freaking awesome and you just aren't good at them.
Congratulations, you just made me write a stupid comment because you made me upset at your face. Sports are awesome!

Matthew said...

kira - googled it. hate it.
mindy - do your own honey do list.
jc - i throw like a girl, but to be fair, that's pretty offensive to girls considering how crappy i am. The reason you spent all that time is because you're crazy passionate about sports. You are the example i was talking about. If you focused your energy on politics, you could run the country. I'd vote for you even if you are a conservative. P.s., religion is a huge reason for war and hatred, but it's also a reason for compassion and good things. You also feel the need to be validated by me because i'm awesome. Jc. consider yourself validated. :)

Kira C. said...

JC- I wish you had kept that section. I was under the impression until now that it was only Mark who was terrible with sports. Hilarious.