Monday, April 4, 2011

Cutting Back: Eff You. Readership is Down.

Dear Avid Fans

I realized something. My readers are like women (probably because most are women). The more interest you show in them, the less likely they are to go out with you. This is the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard of and wish that would stop, but i doubt it will happen.

. . . . . Anyway, i feel like the more i write, the less people read, so i’m cutting back to two times a week.

This goes against everything i believe in because i don’t really write for other people (obviously i do, i just don’t want to admit it outside of these parentheses), i write for myself and i write as a way to keep my negative energy focused in a different direction. Away from my social life, or the lack thereof.

But seriously, why in the eff are women like that? I mean, i always knew they were crazy. I did. But i never really understood because i never really tried to date. I guess my problem is that i think about things logically, which is apparently something that women choose not to do. Yes, i'm convinced it's a choice.

I guess i’ll just start being a d-bag (or at least a bigger one). . . . Or. . . . . I’ll just cut back my writing.



Also, since i’m going to start posting twice a week, i figure i’d switch to a tuesday thursday schedule so i’ll probably post one tomorrow. Maybe. This is most definitely the last of the monday posts. Or maybe i’ll switch to a monday thursday post. I don’t know. Or i do and i'm just choosing to be convoluted.

If you’d like to complain, there is tons of space in the comments box. Those are always a good indicator on how people feel about my writing, but i’d imagine you’ll just not say anything and be completely passive about all of this. Eff you guys.




MindySue said...

Or it could just be that the weather is getting nice and so people are spending less time at their computers...

J-Hal said...

Wait, you have been writing on a schedule? I didn't even know that. I seriously thought it was just random. The only way I know that you post something is when you share it on Facebook ... so don't stop doing that.

Don't be sad Matt. Lots of people are going to disappoint you in your lifetime. Also - it is absolutely true that women think less logically than men do. I would know. I am a podcaster.

I look forward to reading whatever you read, whenever you write it. I truly (vomit moment) enjoy reading your posts.



J-Hal said...

I hope I made you laugh when I wrote, "I look forward to reading whatever you read..." because obviously I should have written "whatever you write." I'm so funny.

Hayley said...

Hey I always read!! I just never leave comments because I dont wanna get on your bad side. I dont think that'd be a very good place for me. And I dont really know you all that well haha.. Keep writing!!

Matthew said...

or it could be because i say "eff you" to the people that read this and i call women dumb in every post. Jason, heck yes i've been on a monday wednesday friday schedule, but i'm switching. I think that 2 days a week is good. Mostly i'm just running out of ideas.

The Jacks said...

I can't help but remember this sweet-faced 2nd grader sitting at a lunch table in the corner; quietly eating his sandwich. Seriously Matt, if you want to get a date...become that sweet-faced boy again.

Matthew said...

wait, when did this become about me dating? I thought it was about me cutting back blog posts and women being crazy and how the two are similar.

J-Hal said...

Matt, if you really want to find a date, then you should explore the possibility of sacrificing your good looks for someone not as good looking. I know you think that you can't get a date, but maybe it is because you are so hung up on yourself that you forget the needs of others. Don't worry, you're not the only one. Mark is the same. You'll get there. Don't get down.

Kira C. said...

You should actually post every single day Matt. Or, you could make a rule that 5 people have to comment on a post before you will write another one.

As for not finding a woman, just find one that doesn't know about your blog. ;)

Jason-Mark is not the same.

J-Hal said...

Ok, maybe Mark isn't the same ... I think I really need to rethink how I have started treating people since I started the podcast. I'm worried that I have turned into a bad person. I'm sorry Matt and Mark. But I'm not sorry to you Andrew. Not sorry at all.

Matthew said...

j-hal, it's obvious that i'm hung up on myself. I thought that was the whole point of having a blog. I'm so in love with my own writing, i feel that everyone needs to hear it. duh. P.S. podcasts are the same, i'm surprised you're still married.
kira c - yeah, mark's the same.

once again, i'm not sure how you guys got dating out of this. i just said that women are crazy and i'm cutting back posts. This is now completely out of hand. Thanks.