Friday, April 1, 2011

Foreign Languages: No Need, Just Speak Marekin


The grammatical errors, spelling errors and content below have no relation to how i spell or my beliefs. I’m simply making fun of people who think differently than i do. Also, when allowable, i spelled phonetically to accentuate certain syllables. Also, this is best read out loud, maybe with an accent of your choice.

*End of Disclaimer*

Why does the world insist on all speaking different languages? And worse, why do people feel the need to speak foreign languages in mareka?

Let’s be honest and frank here for a bit. If you live in mareka, you got to speak marekin. How difficult is that? Not veery.

It always irks me when i hear people not speaking marekin because i’m pretty sure they’re either plottin aginst me, or this country, and i think that they’re just jealous of all the freedom that we have. I mean, all the freedoms except the freedom to speak a different language, and practice a religion that we don’t understand.

I mean, i grew up and learned marekin, so i’m not really followin why they can’t either.

It’s like, if they want to come here and partake in our freedoms, then they should make the effert to speak marekin.

Just because our country has a democracy and we can all speak our minds, doesn’t mean that they can do the same in a different language, naw mean?

I put ma kids threw skool so that they can grow up and maybe someday run this country. And i don’t want them havin to sit next to some kid who doesn’t know the diffrence between freedom fries and tacos.

Those people are just livin off everyone else, naw mean? Evry time i go cash ma unemployment check, theyr hoggin all the lines and it takes me the intire day. Once i git home, all i can do is git on ma sofa, grab a beer and watch sum teevee cuz i’m so tard from standin all day.

Dang mexicans. Takin over ma nayberhood. Drivin by with those low cars and spinnin wheels. How my supposed to work on ma camaro when all i can hear is some rice burner drivin down ma street? I can’t, which is prolly why ma camaro doesn’t work.


HA! It seems that as the post went on, my accent just got werse and werse. I’d say that people complaining about foreign languages being spoken in america is about as annoying as “birthers” (people who believe the whole obama birth certificate thing) and people using the phrase “freedom fries” in a serious fashion. Usually, all those three things are done by the same people, but not all the time.

Anyway, let’s just all git along.


crystallynn said...

very, very halarious. You duna good job Matt.

Brittany G. said...

Please tell me you meant to spell hilarious wrong.

Nice Matt.