Sunday, May 1, 2011

May 1st: The Greatest Day The World Has Ever Known

Some interesting events that have taken place today:

1751 - the first cricket match is played in America. (coincidently, this is also the day that boredom was invented)

1844 - The Hong Kong Police Force is established. (Yay for human rights violations!)

1846 - Mormons formally dedicate the Nauvoo Temple in Nauvoo, Illinois. (nice)

1852 - The Philippine peso is introduced. (i have no jokes for this one)

1900 - The Scofield mine disaster in Scofield, UT kills over 200 men. (no jokes for this one either. just thought it was interesting)


0 - Summer olympics canceled due to war. (. . . .thanks a lot hitler)

1956 - Polio vaccine is made available to the public (fortunately the tea party didn’t exist, otherwise they would have convinced people to not get them because it infringes on human rights. . . idiots)

1982 - World’s Fair opens in Tennessee (rednecks of the woooooorld. UNITE!)

2003 - “Mission Accomplished” The war in iraq is canceled due to a poor turnout.

2009 - Same-sex marriage is legalized in sweden. (Sick. How dare people have free agency)

Anyway, those are some interesting events that occurred, but the births are actually what this post is about because someone awesome was born today. Check out wikipedia (which is actually where i got all my information for this), it’s a credible source that can be used in college, so why not trust it?

Click *here* for a link to wikipedia's "definition" of may 1st.

Just saying. You might want to check out who was born in 1984. If you’re too lazy, i’ll just include a screen shot. If you’re even too lazy to look at that, i’ll just tell you who was born today. ME! Happy birthday to me! But seriously, check out wikipedia (they might have taken it down though).

Last year, my friend hairy gave me the best gift ever. Accidentally sliding down a mountain and falling off a cliff and somehow not getting hurt. Thanks Hairy. Unfortunately, this year we won’t be on any peaks, but we will be tomorrow, so maybe i can get a late birthday present. Who knows, i may have just jinxed myself. Oooooh, this could be the most ironic post ever. I guess we’ll just see how this plays out.

So, to all you who didn’t know it was my birthday (which is probably most everyone), i accept sleeping bags or meat sticks or both (karen/michelle combo), i accept awesome adventures (ryan/hairy), i accept perineum lifts (brent, kevin, chad, blake, scott and everyone else who has ever been on a climbing trip with us and needed a boost to the first hold), I also accept dates from non-familial women because everyone knows that i’m terrible at asking out, but would love to go (especially if i’m not paying. . . . just kidding. . . . . . kind of). And for the rest of you. I accept $5 bills inside cards. Or at least a phone call. Or all of the above. Or none of the above. THANKS!!!


MindySue said...

Happy Birthday Matt! Enjoy being 27. It's a good year.

Kira C. said...

Happy Birthday! Hope you have fun. It's hard to believe someone could be worse at asking someone out than Mark though. Still, if I think of a lady I'll send her your way.

pjw said...

For such occasions I like to celebrate with song. Zoom and I prepared a little ditty for you .Happy Birthday!

MindySue said...

I think you are in some foreign country right now taking amazing pictures of crazy people, but just in case you are not....START POSTING.

Matthew said...

sorry, i'm taking a break. . . . . or i'm out of ideas. One or the other. Or both. . . . Probably both.