Sunday, August 7, 2011

Clapping in Movie Theaters: Death by an Irving Brother (the handsome one, not the other two)

I was watching the last Hairy Potter movie the other day (i know it isn’t spelled that way, but it should be. Did you see him? He had quite the hairy chest.) and i must say that i almost murdered an entire theater full of people. Men, woman and babies. Maybe not so much 1st degree murdered, but at least involuntary manslaughtered.

It always irks me when people clap and cheer in movie theaters. How dare human beings display that kind of enthusiasm in such a public place. If you want to do that crap, go see a melodrama where the actors physically force the unwilling audience to participate. I don't know about you, but i go to the movies to forget about how messed up the two-party political system is. . . . . . . or just to be entertained. I like to become wrapped up in the movie. It makes it more interesting. Do you know what doesn’t make it interesting? Some moron two seats behind me pulling me back to reality long enough to climb over the seats and choke the funny out of him.

There are exceptions. Obviously, any movie with vin diesel or bruce willis would give you the right obligation to cheer. Also anytime you go to a premiere of any movie like LOTR (lord of the rings), you are also sacrificing any right you had to enjoy a movie in peace and quiet. I guess basically any time that you might be a minority if you didn’t clap is an acceptable time to clap. Although you’d also be in the minority if you didn’t wear a cape, so maybe remaining the minority wouldn’t be a bad thing.

I guess the biggest reason i dislike people clapping in theaters is purely monetary, especially now that movies cost a scrotum and a leg just to get in, not to mention selling your first born just to have a half cup of popcorn. If i go see a movie, i don’t want it ruined by some mental case who is so enthralled with dumbledore casting a spell that he can’t help but express his feelings outwardly. Just hold it in man-with-a-cape. Just hold it in.


EyesofAtlantic said...

I like you. Ha.

HABBS said...

I clapped during a movie on only two occasions. 1) was when I was a boy during a Star Wars episode 1 premier, in hind site I want that one back. 2) was at the end of Inception and you know what my mind is still blown so eff you and your judgments

MindySue said...

I was JUST griping about this on Facebook the other day. We went to the Harry Potter movie and we were sandwiched between a couple of D&D freaks (who were way too old to not know better) and a group of girls that kept clapping, giggling, and swooning. I wanted to scream and there were a few times when I had to physically restrain Curt (not really, but kind of). So glad to know I am not alone!

Rogue Valley Runners said...

What about clapping on airplanes, you know, when they land the damn thing?


Matthew said...

Clapping on airplanes is also stupid, unless i'd say a wing falls off and you're still able to land. That would seem like an appropriate time to clap.