Sunday, April 1, 2012

I'm Pregnant: April Fools

Dedicated to Kevin: May he rest in pieces.

Yes, today is April Fools Day, a day in which people lie to each other in order to deceive, cause massive panic, and generally ruin other people's day.

Sweet nectar of the gods, this is my day. . . . . .

Ok, let's get down to brass tacks. Here is a list of 4 April Fools jokes that probably aren't that funny.

1. I'm pregnant - Ahhh, the old i'm pregnant gag. It doesn't matter if this prank is for your dad, boyfriend, girlfriend, mom, grandma, or sibling, this is a really mean prank. Essentially, you're tricking people into thinking that you created life. Depending on who you're pranking, you're bound to get a mixed bag of reactions, that honestly, you probably wouldn't be too psyched on, ranging from "get out" to throwing up, to your boyfriend frantically trying to fit as much of his belongings into a bag, while simultaneously looking up tickets to mexico on his iPhone (let's be honest, everyone has iPhones). And frankly, it's just poor taste.

2. I have cancer - First off, my friend Kevin had cancer back in college. When he told me, i thought it was a joke and laughed in his face. Turns out, he really did. Now he has a cool scar on his neck, although it probably wasn't worth it. The bottom-line is cancer is a scary thing. Anybody can have it, which means that if you're a d-bag, you could easily tell someone you know that you have it, and it's within the realm of possibilities, which means that you just convinced that person that you have an illness that might take your life within the next year or two. hahahaha. April Fools. . . . . No. bad joke.

An even worse joke would be if you were a doctor and you told a patient they had cancer. Not cool.

3. You won the lottery - We've all seen it on tv. Before you click here, be warned that the video is probably fake and there is beeped out swearing. A lot of it. For me, the video actually raises a bigger question as to how it ended up on on American's Funniest Home Videos. I feel like when AFV first came out, it was very family oriented. Now it's people wrecking on their motorcycles, the host saying something funny like "shoulda worn a helmet", and that weird laugh track with a random cut away of the audience laughing hysterically. I've honestly watched a couple clips where i legitimately thought the person died, and it's possible that they did. I mean, that's not that funny. America. What's wrong with you?

but i digress. . .

Fake lottery winnings. A lot of people think that this is a harmless gag, but as the fake video above showed you, it could get out of hand and backfire pretty quickly. All of the backfiring aside though, it's pretty messed up. Basically, in a matter of seconds, you have altered someone's mind from "i'm going to work hard the rest of my life so that i can make something of myself" to "eff it, i'm done", which probably isn't the best attitude to have. That guy/girl that you tricked, just mentally gave up working. For the rest of their life. Do you realize how hard it is to come back from that? It's like during fire season, when you're on your last roll, and it's day 13 (14 days per roll, usually) and then your crew boss tells you that you're extending 3 more days. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced it, but I have, and let me tell you that it was very very difficult to come back from that. And that was just 3 days extra work, not 50 years.

4. Someone you know has died - I mean, do i really need to explain this one?

Anyway, i guess that as much as i love being negative and as much as i think that April Fool's Day was created for me, i would just urge that people use common sense and think about their pranks and how it might effect others. If, after pondering, you will think you should do a prank, then i just gave you 3 really good pranks. Good luck.