I’ve been hearing in the news that Chic-fil-A (a chicken sandwich shop) supports “traditional” marriages like Kim Kardashian’s 72 day sham marriage to Kris Humphries , and not homosexual marriages, because obviously homosexuals don’t take marriage seriously. You can tell because all they do is joke about it. Anyway, this blog post isn’t about gay marriages, despite the fact that I think two consenting adults should be able to do pretty much whatever they want. No, this blog post is about the personification of a restaurant chain.
Ok, so first off, I’d like to state that The CEO of that one chicken sandwich shop can believe whatever he wants. If he wants to tell people that they can’t have the same rights as him, that’s fine, he can say that. It’s called the freedom of speech. I get it. It’s what allows me to write this extremely negative blog without fear of getting sued or put in jail. I get individual liberties. Both ways. I understand them, but I am also a recipient. Did you see what I did there?
Anyway, what bothers me is that people have been “supporting” a restaurant chain because supposedly the restaurant chain “supports” “traditional” marriage. I mean, maybe I just don’t get it, but I feel like a restaurant chain supporting anything is similar to a chicken sandwich supporting something. They’re both inanimate objects. The only thing a chicken sandwich supports is the pickle and slice of bread on top of it. And maybe the mustard.
Oh, what people meant to say was that they support the CEO because he supports “traditional” marriage? And they’re showing their support by purchasing chicken sandwiches? I mean that’s pretty ridiculous, but ok, I get that. But if you’re buying chicken sandwiches from Chic-fil-whatever to show your support for non-homo marriages, what about the other people that you’re also supporting? What about the nearfact that 50% of the employees of Chic-fil-a are known child rapists and meth users? I guess they probably support child rape and meth use as well. Because by purchasing a chicken sandwich, you’re not only lining the pockets of the CEO, you’re also handing over children and meth to child rapists and meth heads. Just saying.
I guess the bottom line is that Chic-fil-a shouldn’t have an opinion about anything other than chicken sandwiches, and even that is debatable. Personifying a restaurant chain is dumb, because at the end of the day, they’re just a bunch of homophobic buildings filled with chicken, not opinions.