Sunday, August 12, 2012

Online Vandalism: Almost As Good As The Real Thing.

We can all attest that doing something on the interweb isn’t as fun as doing something in real life.  Take Farmville for example.  This is a real thing.  People go online and build these fake farms and trade these fake things and I’m pretty sure that some of them actually spend real hard earned welfare money doing it.  It’s crazy.  I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have to wake up every day at 4 in the morning and go out and milk cows and kill chickens, and mow the lawn.  Unfortunately I have a different calling in life.  If any of you know what that is, let me know.  I’d be interested to find out what it is.

Anyway, people have this crazy notion that the things they accomplish online actually matter in real life.  What’s that? But you have 7,000 facebook friends?  Oh, it must be so rewarding for you to have that many facebook friends.  I bet you go to a lot social activities and are validated as a human bean.  What’s that?  You have over 6 million twitter followers?  Oh, that’s actually kind of impressive.  Nice job.

Which brings me to my next “point”.


In real life, it’d be a lot of fun.  Running around drawing penises on everything (or whatever else vandals draw), but we aren’t poor people.  We can’t do that.  Society would shake their frowning faces at us and send us to prison.  Which is unfortunate because sometimes I feel like the world could use more phallic images drawn on buildings.

But for whatever reason, I’m unable to vandalize things.  Call it morals or lack of time, but I just can’t drag myself to climb up on a billboard that is on I-15 as you’re driving in to Ogden from the north, pull out a can of spray paint and draw the word “murdered” over the word “persistence”, but I wish I could because it’d be really really funny.  It would be physical evidence of funny.

Instead, what I’m going to do is go online, find a picture of what’s on the billboard bring it in to photoshop, draw the word “murdered” over the word “persistence” and push it out online in hopes that I get a lot of validation from my online peers.

Because that’s what life is about:  Validation on the Internet (did you know that the word Internet is supposed to be capitalized?). 

. . . I guess It was more of a time thing than a moral thing.

1 comment:

EyesofAtlantic said...

I love this! You are so cool and funny.