Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Instagram Stock Photo Library: Hahahahaha. Good Luck.

I just read that Instagram can now sell all of your shitty HDR photos.  Good for them. 

I mean, in theory it was a “smart” move.  All of these free photos, hashtagged and rated at their fingertips.  Ready for them to use however they want.    It’s a theoretical gold mine for advertisers.  Unfortunately, unless advertisers are specializing in x-pro II food, hdr clouds, or Hudson cat photos then they’re in for a rude awakening.

Instagram was founded with good intentions; Share all of your cool photos with your friends, hashtag them, make them searchable, and let your friends rate them.  Awesome.  This is going to be so neat.  When’s the last time you looked at the “popular” page on Instagram?  Here is an example of a photo that you would see:

hahahaha.  Oooooooh, that would be a good advertisement for Aflac Insurance.  Quack quack!!!!!

Here are 3 reasons why I don’t care about all of this.

1.  The people with the most “likes” are tween instagram “celebrities” who post photos like the one above.  If they did a search for number of likes on a photo that was hashtagged “cloud”, then none of my photos would ever come up.  Mostly because the only hashtag I ever put on is “soaking”.  So, good luck with that.

2.. When is the last time you saw a square photo grace the cover of any magazine? Yes, I know they exist.  There are probably quite a few of them and we’ll probably start seeing more of them, but for the most part, people deal in rectangles.  Keep in mind that you can only crop a shitty phone image so much.  (I realize this is a terrible reason to not care.  I actually care so little that I was having a hard time coming up with reasons to not care.)

3.  Instagram has been inundated with cat photos, cloud photos, food photos, and shitty ironic hipster photos, like this one:


Maybe now I’ll get published!?!?!?!?!?!

If you’re really that worried about instagram/Facebook stealing all your photos, you should probably take a look through your Instagram photo library, because you’d realize that you shouldn’t be flattering yourself so much.  Myself included.

That HDR portrait you shot and thought looked amazing, doesn’t look amazing.  It looks like shit.  And if people really wanted to use it, then they’d be shooting themselves in the foot.

Anyway.  There are tons more reasons, but I need breakfast.  Good luck INSTAGRAM.  I’ll take an Earlybird sunrise shot for you to use whenever you want.


[update] i was tricked into actually thinking that people were acting crazy over something.  it turns out that instagram isn't going to sell your cat picture.  But it still is shitty.


Justin said...

Nice. But seriously -- the sky is falling.

Matthew said...

the sky has been falling for quite a while now, and if this is the thing that sets you over the edge, then your priorities are weird.

MindySue said...

You know the word "crappy" works just as well, right?

Matthew said...

the word "crappy" works for something that is crappy. The word "shitty" is worse than "crappy", and that's exactly what i was trying to convey.

MindySue said...

Okay, but you're the one pissing mom off right before Christmas. I'm just saying it's not a smart move. PS. Instagram came out and said they weren't going to sell photos. Not sure if they really mean it...