Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Material Possessions: A Super Short and Powerful Post

Sometimes i look around my apartment. I look around and i think "wow, i have a lot of meaningless shit.

And then i think, "i'm going to buy more of if tomorrow".

And i do.

Because this is America.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Single Dad Laughing: Single (hopefully) Non-Dad Rolling My Eyes.

I'm a hypocrite, plagiarist, procrastinator, narcissist, and quite handsome. Just to name a few.

I honestly don't know why i wrote that, it has nothing to with this post. Except for the plagiarist part, because i'm about 18 lines away from doing a whole bunch of it. Also the handsome part because. . . . . well, because i'm handsome. . . . . Now, i guess the narcissist part is relevant, but the other two hold no ground.

Anyway. There is this blog.

It's called single dad laughing. Click the link and at least read the first paragraph or two for relevance). You might have heard of it. You might not have. I've only read a couple posts, but i've deduced several things from them.

1. he is a single dad.
2. he is not laughing
3. his posts are way too long
4. he likes to write eloquently.
5. he probably gets turned on from reading his own material
6. that was a bit harsh.
7. that's probably not the case.
8. i'm sure he's a nice guy
9. he could just be more concise.

You probably like his posts, and that's fine, because it's a free world and i have no control over you. Not that i wish i didn't.

Anyway, the reason why i think his blog his on par with most high school research papers is because it's all fluff. All of it. I'm sure it's so he can read it out loud, and listen to himself talk. That's the kind of vibe i get. And just to be clear, that's exactly what i do with my blog, so i guess the hypocrite part is now relevant. Zing!

So, he recently wrote a post about homosexuality that was very longwinded. It was so longwinded that i didn't read the whole thing, but i'd imagine it could have been summed up in one or two sentences. Here is my plan for the rest of the blog. I'm going to:

1. Sum up my feelings on homosexuality in two sentences. (to show it can be done)
2. Copy and paste his lead-up to introducing his topic (that's the plagiarism part)
3. I will then take his lead-up in a different direction and do something that i've been wanting to do for a long time. It's a surprise. I'm really excited for this.

Ok, to sum up my feelings (and how i think everyone should feel) on homosexuality:

Homosexuals are humans. what's the big deal?

See?!? Look how easy that was. on to the next.

"Today I want to write about something that has bothered me for the better part of a decade. I’ve carved out no fewer than a dozen drafts of this post, all strangely unalike, all ultimately failing to accomplish the job I’ve set out to do. Truth is, I’ve been trying to write it off and on for more than a year now, and the right words have been seemingly impossible to come by.

In the end, and in order to post it, I guess I had to care more about the message than I do about potential backlash. I’m not being facetious when I say that I hope I can get this message across without offending… well… everybody.

What I really hope is that this post will spark and encourage poignant and worthwhile discussion that will lead to some poignant and worthwhile changes in the lives of at least a few people who are hurting.

That being said, I believe some strong words need to be said today." . . . .

God hates nickelback.


See what i did there? I've been wanting to write about nickelback for years and i haven't been able to, but then i realized that sometimes, the simplest message can be the most powerful one. It doesn't take fancy words, like "facetious", "poignant", and "decade" to change people's minds. What it takes is one phrase that sticks.

God hates nickelback.


DONE!

Alright, but seriously though, i haven't written for a while so i'm just warming up. Cut me some slack.