Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Clayton Thompson: World's Worst Person. Possibly a Cannibal.

Just to be clear, the title isn't true.  It's actually far from it, but since this is "matt's blog of negativity" and not "matt's blog of warm and fuzzy compliments", I can't really be handing out praise, so pretty much everything that I say is opposite of what it actually is.

All photos are all scanned negatives shot on a Voigtlander Bessa medium format camera.

Ok, this is Clayton (photo above)(this is actually not the opposite of what i'm saying.  It is actually Clayton.  I can see how this might be a confusing blog post).  He is a woodworker (not opposite, he really is a wood worker).  He squints a lot, which makes him kind of ugly, but we're still friends when he needs a favor from me (not opp. . . . screw it, you can figure it out).

Clayton works with his brother, Joey, but doesn't want him to succeed, so sometimes he'll go through his wood like you see above, and he'll find the best stuff and take it in a corner and spray paint curse words all over them.  Bad ones.

Sometimes, when he makes a chair that is better than his brother's, he will walk around the shop, loudly proclaiming that he is the best wood worker of all time and that his brother should just quit to avoid the shame.  To me, this seems a bit rude, but I am not Clayton and my brain doesn't work the same.

Sometimes, when Joey is not working, Clayton will go and shave some wood off his tubafours.  This aggravates Joey because Clayton will always blame someone else, usually Chad, and will never admit to it.  

Clayton will also use Joey's tools without asking.  Above is Clayton using Joey's spoke shave.  Afterward, Clayton took his spoke shave out to the parking lot and drove over it with his car, which, in the wood worker's world is the ultimate put-down.

Despite being the world's worst person, he does make some pretty baller furniture, which kind of makes up for the whole cannibalism thing.


soosie said...

Man, Clayton. I never knew you were so negative and spiteful. Growing up, I always had the very opposite idea of you. Lay off the little brother! Very nice work, though.

Heather said...

Matt- I found your blog on my husbands FB page- Kenny Bowcutt? Do you remember him? Anyway, as I was on his page I saw this blog post and thought WTH? I went to school with Clayton! The guy is freakin brilliant!!!! Oh man. I have so many good memories of band class, double dates, hanging our right after graduation. I've wondered what became of him! Now I know! I always knew he'd do something creative with his life. Such a talent!

Such a small world. If you see him soon, please tell him hey for me. He was such a big part of my happy high school memory!

I've read your blog on a couple occasions. I love it. =) I bet if you are ever around this way Kenny would love to see ya...