Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Harlem Shake: The People of Harlem Say Stop.

Harlem.  A world-renowned center of African-American culture (Wikipedia).  It was once in the running to become this nation’s capital, but came in third, close behind Chinatown, Pennsylvania, and our now current capital, Washington D.C. (nearfact).  Interesting fact (realfact).  Washington D.C. is not in Washington the state, just an fyi.  I was watching “are you smarter than a 5th grader” and it turns that I am.  That little jerk got it wrong.  What an idiot.

Anyway, once Harlem was out of the capital race, they turned their sights on dancing, which is kind of a weird switcheroo, but can you blame them?  For the next 200 years, the people of Harlem created every type of dance move, and rhythm known to man. Harlem is where all modern dance and rhythm originated.  Anytime you hear a beat, whether it’s on a drum, or on your pant leg, you can thank the people of Harlem.  You can also boo the people of Harlem for giving us the dougie.  Please, just take it back.

All of this is really interesting and 100% factual, which is why it really threw me off when I was bombarded by facebook posts about the “Harlem Shake”.  What is the Harlem Shake?

Here is what everybody outside of Harlem thinks the Harlem Shake is.

  1. Put on stupid helmet.
  2. Take pants off.  Maybe shirt.  Maybe both.  Maybe neither.  Maybe you're in a dinosaur costume.
  3. Dry hump the air in front of a group of people.
  4. Said group of people pretend not to notice.
  5. Person singing song yells “do the Harlem shake” in a low bass voice.
  6. Hard cut to everybody in the frame doing things that their mother wouldn’t approve of, ie. Dry hump more air.  Dry hump couch.  Dry hump guy next to you.  Dry hump girl next to you.  Dry hump chair.  Lay on back and dry hump air.  Lay on ground sideways and dry hump air.  Swing feather boa.  Wear sleeping bag like a worm.  Throw pizza.  Scalp teacher. Flail arms.  Flail legs.  Flail head. Get concussion. Etc…

Well, that’s the gist of it.  Basically it’s a bunch of people doing stupid things for attention.  Nice job people.  Way to get all that attention.  I bet your 1 million hits on youtube will be the highlight of your year/life.  Congratulations.

For those of you sick of all this baloney floating around the Internet.  Here is a quick video from the people of Harlem telling everyone else that they’re not doing the Harlem Shake.  Now, i’m no expert in dance, but if the people of Harlem are telling you that you’re not doing the Harlem shake, then you’re probably not doing the harlem shake.  Try calling it something else like, “look at me, I want attention”, or “look at me, I’m an idiot”, or maybe even, “look at me, I’m failing math.”  Just stop calling it the Harlem Shake because that’s not it.

Ug. Just knock it off.

On a different note, i will be co producing a call me maybe video, so stay tuned.

Just Stop it.  You look like a bunch of attention deprived idiots.

1 comment:

Sarah Larsen Hosmer said...

Of course they are a bunch of attention deprived idiots but, it seems people don't care about that label anymore. How else would youtube survive without them?